I was traveling for work this past week (St Louis, Missouri to be exact) so I suffered through some separation anxiety from my garden.
I considered asking my wife to allow me to Skype with some of the newly blooming perennials but that would have been weird, right? I mean who is attached to their plants so much that they can’t go without seeing them for four days? A real friggin wacko if you ask me.
So early this morning I set foot outside to catch up on all I’ve missed since last weekend (They grow up so fast, sniff) and was immediately taken in by the newly blooming siberian irises (‘Snow Queen’):
Such a crisp and clean color that immediately pulls you in. Just awesome stuff.
From there, I was psyched to see that for the first time in three years, my Spirea ‘Snowmound’ was blooming:
Some times patience does pay off and I’m pretty proud of myself.
But then, out of my peripheral vision, I spotted a long familiar beauty. She stood out like my wife stood out when I first met her in college. A beauty like no other that pulled me in and had me stammering over my words (please apply that to my wife also). I took the requisite 12 steps from where I was standing to view the first peony bloom of the year:
There I was, ogling this “bowl of beauty” and taking photos of her from all different angles like the paparazzi. As I contorted my body into all sorts of odd shapes, I was blind to a development that still has me reeling …
The son of a mutha f’n deer devoured 75% of all my peony buds. They’ve never touched them before, not even one bud/bloom. Are you freaking kidding me? No plant has more of a build-up to their bloom period than the peony and it marks the transition to summer. And you’re going to ruin that for me?
Just a few days ago they looked so promising:
What a slap to the face. This means WAR. Once again, I was too lax and let my guard down. No more you tick carrying, skittish SOB’s.
I will hunt you down day and night. I will throw bars of Irish Spring at your ass. I’ll drop hot sauce from a helicopter above. It is on … it is on like Donkey Kong.