The Obsessive Neurotic Gardener

Monthly Archives: December 2011

Garden resolutions for 2012

Posted on by Posted in Foliage .

We all know we never fulfill our New Year’s resolutions. NEVER. Just take a look at how I failed miserably  with my 2011 gardening resolutions.

I bet if you did your research, you would find that more lettuce is eaten the first week of January than any other week in the year. We convince ourselves THIS will be the year we will stick to our lofty goals. Sure you will.

After saying all that, I cannot resist setting my own gardening “goals” (sounds more attainable than “resolutions”) for the new year. It kick starts my enthusiasm to start planning as we enter the dead of winter. A chance to dream of spring and emerging bulbs.

So without further ado, I give you my five step gardening plan for 2012:

1. Expand, expand, expand – As I’ve mentioned previously, I live on a large lot (2+ acres) that was a blank canvas when we moved in back in 2004. It’s been a slow process to expand the garden out into the yard. I blame it on lack of time, the fear of deer and poorly draining soil. As a result, I have way too much lawn to maintain:              

Besides the desire to cut down on the lawn maintenance time, I really want to lure visitors (kind of sounds creepy) further out into the yard. I want to add more paths and “destinations” that will encourage you to want to explore more.

This is the view out of the back of my home and for years I’ve planned on creating a woodland garden underneath the only mature tree on my property. I’m thinking benches and deer resistant shrubs and grasses:    

So it is time to dedicate myself to moving beyond the garden beds that surround the house:

2. Foliage, foliage, foliage – The reality of my garden situation is that I have clay soil that does not drain well and my yard is infested with deer and rabbits. That does not lend itself to a garden full of flowers. The key is to focus on foliage with contrasting colors, shape and textures. I can strategically utilize flowers where possible (damn you spring plant catalogs and your beautiful flowers), but the focus and theme will be on the foliage:      

3. Take advantage of raised beds – This is a simple one. Raised beds eliminate the poor drainage issue and allow me to grow herbs and vegetables I normally could not. Like an idiot, I completely ignored an existing raised bed I’ve had for years and it looked like this most of the year:

No more. I’m imagining rosemary, thyme, cilantro, chives, tomatoes, etc. I mean seriously, my wife is a world class cook and I’m not providing her with the necessary fresh ingredients.

4. Give up on the plants I know will not thrive – It is all about survival of the fittest and if you can’t keep up, you’re gone. So …

Good bye Phlox paniculata:

Good bye Weeping Cherry Tree:

Good bye daylillies:

And good bye Geranium ‘Brookside’:

5. Visit more gardens and get my ass inspired – For reasons unknown, I have not taken advantage of all of the public gardens at my disposal and that is a friggin shame. I’m missing out on so much and that needs to change. This past summer, I finally made my way to the New York Botanical Garden and what an experience it was. I felt energized by all of the displays and was immediately inspired to experiment:  

So there you go, my 2012 gardening resolutions are out there and now the pressure is on to actually see that I meet these objectives.

Happy new year to you all and we’ll do this again in 2012!

John

Chilling after Christmas

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And just like that, it’s over: 
The stockings are no longer hung by the chimney with care … 
We’ve gone from 160 mph to about 5 mph in the course of a few days. I may not even have a pulse right now, that’s how “chill” we all are. And that’s a good thing. 
It’s all about riding the new Barbie bike:     

 And organizing the football cards while looking up their value on the new Kindle Fire:

We had a Christmas for the ages with family (My son will regret agreeing to wear these pajamas in a few years):

 

The kids are at the absolute perfect age right now (9 and 6) and I dread them getting even a year older.

My son is a non believer in Santa so we plotted a way to get him to believe for one more year. He is an incredibly deep sleeper so we knew we could wake him in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve without him truly waking up. We nudged him a bit and then played the sound of sleigh bells through my phone. He opened his eyes and looked around in terror as we left the room. On Christmas morning, he insisted he heard noises in the middle of the night and looked out his window to see reindeer on the front lawn. Score one for the parents!

On a personal level, my wife gave me a subscription to Fine Gardening and a private lesson with a local photographer. I couldn’t be more fired up about that. Watch out readers, my photography obsession will be taken to new heights.

Speaking of photography obsession, I am off from work the remainder of this week and all I plan on doing is trying to hunt down the birds that have been flocking to the yard like mad:  
 

Hope you had a great holiday and here’s to 2012!

John

Happy Holidays

Posted on by Posted in Winter interest .
I’d like to wish everyone of you (except Alex) a happy and healthy holiday and thank you for reading my nonsense throughout the year. This blog is an incredible creative escape for me and I thank you all for your fantastic comments along the way. I am ready, with your help, to take on yet another winter and will continue with my promise to not complain about a thing. 
John       

My favorite garden photos of 2011

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How about a little year in review today?

My staff (of one) has put in countless hours reviewing all of the photos I’ve taken this year and we feel these are the best of the best.

If I’ve learned anything over this past year, it’s snap away with the camera and ask questions later. It’s amazing how many times a throw-away shot ends up being a gem.

In no particular order:

These Summer Snowflakes (Leucojum) seem like light posts illuminating the Heuchera below them:    

Love the effect of the ornamental grass in the background. Almost looks like there is a tunnel within it beckoning you to enter:

Nothing says spring like a Viburnum bloom … and dandelions throughout the lawn:

Who knew an individual Spiderwort (Tradescantia) bloom was this interesting?:

After I snapped this shot, I called 911 to let the authorities know the sky was on fire:

Loved the lighting on these Rose of Sharon (Althea) blooms:

The plant colors along with the mist just screamed early autumn:

I swear I didn’t line these deer up before taking the photo:

So simple yet says so much (And yes, I’m that deep):

Goodbye summer:

The anticipation is killing me:

Snow on a Dahlia bloom? Get the hell outta here:

The only bird photo I am sort of proud of:

It is fleeting, but oh so worth it:

The color contrasts are incredible, maybe my favorite shot of the year:

Here’s to more photos in 2012!

“I am dumb” a rebuttal by Alex

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For your comedic pleasure, I give you my friend Alex’s rebuttal to yesterday’s post, where I ripped him a new one. He sent this to me and dared me to post it. I couldn’t resist, considering the amount of time he appears to have put into it. Also, it is taking all of my strength to not edit his grammar but I will leave it as is so you can witness his lack of skills in that department. Enjoy:      
First, it’s true, I am dumb.  I can’t spell, I don’t reread what I write, I don’t check my grammar – and when in doubt I throw in a semi-colon (or apparently a dash).  
I poorly write a little blog of my own which has been described as:
“this is uninspired, uninformed, sloppy, rushed and forced blogging at it’s absolute worst and lowest common denominator. how could something be worse than this god forsaken eyesore of a background image executed J.V. squad style, tiling into infinity? I don’t know but this blog entry is somehow worse. And how can something meant to be funny be so devoid of humor? I guess when you steal the safest, most oft-used nhl satire bits from 2005, anything is possible. And by anything i mean, the hottest, wettest garbage on the internet.”
But I am not going to stand around and allow John to carry out a character assassination on me without rebuttal.  Suck it ONG, I demand you post this rebuttal.
As John said, I’m not a plant guy.  As a matter of fact, I’m not much of a nature guy at all, unless it’s something I can eat with a  fork and knife or artificially manipulate by treating with chemicals.   How can you not be a plant guy, one might ask, they provide so much to the planet…. Bullshit.  I don’t trust them.  I think if it weren’t for humans attempts to aggressively control the plant population they would be plotting to achieve world domination.  How do I know this?  I remember watching this documentary when I was like eight:
I know exactly what you are thinking right now, because I had the exact same thought; a troubling documentary on the dangers of plant life.
Are plants good for the environment?  Please.  Did you know that the 8th largest cause of methane gas from human related activities is“forest land remaining forest land?”  And that has over 57x more of an impact that my favorite past time “field burning of agricultural residue”.  Conclusion:  Burn agricultural = save planet.
And they are two-faced.  Oh yea sure, during the day they are all about that photosynthesis we produce oxygen shit.  Well guess what?  You know who else produces Oxygen?  Oprah…. And I trust her a sure as a hell a lot more than I trust some Pteridium aquilinum (worlds most common plant it turns out).  Why?  Because as night Oprah doesn’t do a 180 and attempt to steal our oxygen suffocate us by cellular respiration (Oprah is only interested in stealing our money).
So while I’m not a plant person, that’s not the problem I have with ONG.  I’ve been to ONGs house, and much like Amoco’s advertising that it’s Crystal Clear gasoline was better for the environment, the twenty-seven times he takes a picture of the exact same plant and slaps some obscure latin name on the thing is not a full representation of neither his house, his garden, nor his family.
Fortunately I brought my camera last time we were over to provide a fair and balanced assessment on his garden.  Take a look, and you can be the judge as to whether you want to hit him with a false claims suit.
First, parking is always an issue at casa da ONG.  That’s just a pretty solid house design right there buddy.  If I am not mistaken that is an arbor mala he’s planted in middle of his driveway.
We parked, walked up to his front door, and saw this lovely little beauty waiting to greet us.  I mean nothing says welcome like a mortua planta.
It was a pretty nice afternoon, so we spent most of the time outside on his porch just taking in the scene and appreciating garden, and him showing me some of his new plants and the garden he was working on, as well as how he had decorated for Christmas.

Nice wreath.
So at the end, I’m not opposed the fact that he takes 400 shots of the same plant – I just think he needs to show everything, you know give a full perspective.

To read more of Alex’s work, check out his blog http://awkward-sandwich.blogspot.com/. 

My friend is dumb

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A good friend of mine, a non plant and gardening fan, said to me recently “How many pictures can you possibly take of all your plants. Aren’t you done with it all yet?” 
I responded with “No, you’re dumb, you have no soul and you don’t know anything about gardening so you have no grounds to say anything on the topic. And oh yeah, the Chicago Bears are awful and so is your grammar.”
See, a very mature response on my part. 
So this post is dedicated to you today Alex, may you some day look back and understand the absurdity of your comments. 
A few quick items today:
Love this color combo, especially this time of year when it stands out more than ever. A bonus – it is what I see every time I look out my front window:            

This Hawthorn ‘Winter King’ was only planted this spring and I already love its amazing shape and silhouette. May it survive our brutal winter winds:

And last but not least, the Lady’s Mantle (Alchemilla) still keeps on keeping on and still remains one of my absolute faves in or out of bloom:

Feel free to criticize Alex all you want in the Comments.

John

Wordless Wednesday – Texture

A frigid stroll

Posted on by Posted in Winter interest .
I was home early from work today and made it a point to walk around the yard despite the sub freezing temperatures. There is a lot of “brown” all around, but upon closer inspection, there is still a nice variety of subtle colors and textures keeping things interesting.     
I’m assuming the red tipped boxwood leaves indicate stress from the cold, but I still find it to be an interesting part of their life cycle in the fall/winter. Call me crazy:  

Speaking of boxwoods, the Japanese boxwoods have turned their usual yellow/orange as the temps drop and now is their time to shine as everything else dies around them:

The basal foliage (foliage that hangs low to the ground under the stems) on many of the perennials have maintained their color and only now, truly stand out amongst the carnage. I’ll take it:

Achillea ‘Moonwalker’

Penstemon ‘Husker Red’

Physostegia ‘Summer Snow’

The seed heads on the Mountain Mint (Pycnanthemum incanum) look fantastic and maybe, just maybe, I’ll finally harvest the seeds:

This is a mystery Heuchera that has held it’s color better than any other I currently own. Any idea of the cultivar? Need more, stat:  

I went on an Arborvitae shopping spree two years ago and while they have been a bit slow to establish, the varying colors displayed throughout the seasons have been impressive:

My apologies if I’ve bored you to death but when you’ve got the “plant obsession” you can find interest any time of the year.

John

My “Twelve Days of Gardening” song

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I ask that you actually sing as you read it. It will make it that much more enjoyable/absurd.  
“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a kid who gives a shit about gardening“: 

“On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two sets of cojones so I could shoot the deer on my property”:

“On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, more shrubs with three seasons of interest”

“On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four lessons on how to take photos of interesting birds”:

“On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, fiiiiiiiive … golden … foliaged …. conifers“:  

“On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six more ornamental grasses with vertical interest”:

“On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, seven more days in the week so I can remove all of the lawn from my property”:

“On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight shots of performance enhancing drugs so I can keep up with my mammoth weeds”:

“On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine reminders to stake my larger perennials”:

“On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten extended days of peony bloom time”:

“On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eleven kick ass native plants“:

“On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, twelve months of summer”:

Wordless Wednesday