Dogs Archives - The Obsessive Neurotic Gardener

Lazy – DGP

Posted on September 25, 2023 by jmarkowski Posted in Comedy, Dogs .

You may be under the impression that I’m on always on top of things, a hard worker and task oriented. If you feel that way, I apologize for the false representation.

So not me.

Yes, I am known around town as “always in my garden” and “usually filthy from head to toe, wearing a weird t-shirt whenever I see him” but that doesn’t mean I work “smart” or that I’m the least bit useful or resourceful when dealing with anything other than plants.

Exhibit A (And this will no doubt be a common theme moving forward with my daily garden photos or DGP):

My homemade means to ensure that Mia doesn’t escape off the deck and run away from home.

In my defense, it’s an easy solution. Move a few deck chairs and boom, instant gate. But, not the most appealing view from inside or outside the house. And yes, if people come over, I’m shit out of luck.

We did order a custom gate a few years back but it wasn’t wide enough to be attached between the two posts. Would a normal human figure out a way to rig it up and make it work? I don’t know, you tell me. I’d estimate 35% of people could pull that off buy maybe I’m underestimating the general public. Maybe I’m even worse than I imagine. What would you do?

And don’t tell me we should train the dog to not leave the deck without any blockage. We’ve tried and it’s too dangerous. She turns savage when on the loose. Our wonderful little rescue has escaped many times and it’s an hour of hell trying to track her down and pray she doesn’t get hit by a car.

Oh wait, she did get hit by a car.

On Christmas Eve when she escaped from my sister’s house.

And the nutty little mutt, stood up, shook it off and went about her way like nothing happened. We lost about ten years on our lives and she had nothing to show other than a tiny scratch on her snout. She hasn’t been loose since, and if I have to pile up nine chairs to ensure her safety, I’ll do it.

Sorry for the digression. My point for today: Yes I’m lazy and not handy. But if you need someone to weed your entire property in the humidity of summer, I’m your man.

Mixed bag

Posted on May 10, 2016 by jmarkowski Posted in Dogs, Weeds .

A bunch of different items for today:

1)Last year I talked about my battle with Canada Thistle and it is even worse so far this year. Like close to pushing me over the edge worse.

That ornamental grass above is in danger of being fully enveloped by these bully weeds. Just yanking them out of the ground hoping to get the entire root system has not worked.

Here’s my plan (which was really the original plan last year) going forward.

2)My latest Social Media obsession is Snapchat. I’m still trying to grasp how to utilize it for gardening and plant purposes but I will get there. Take a deep breath and give it a whirl won’t you? And if you do, add this wanna-be-15-year-old-who-looks-more-and-more-like-a-43-year-old-every-day.

3)Within the next week or so, I will be fortunate enough to trial an “automower” from Husqvarna. Much more to come on this one and yes, it is a robotic lawn mower. How cool is that?

4)Have I mentioned just how over the top pumped I am for my three Andropogon ‘Red October’? And they all just emerged within the past few days.

5)Mia is still kind of awesome …

… and spoiled

Learning to love a small dog

Posted on March 20, 2016 by jmarkowski Posted in Dogs, Family .

So I’m watching “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” a few weeks back and I’m about to have a panic attack. I shit you not.

In case you’ve never seen this 2008 classic (wink), it is about a bunch of talking Chihuahuas and some sort of need to rescue one of the dogs in Mexico or something. And there is a lot of George Lopez talking. That’s all you need to know. It is utterly awful and annoying, especially if you’re like me and hate talking animals or talking babies.

Puppy Kindergarten

Posted on January 19, 2016 by jmarkowski Posted in Dogs .

Last night was our third session of Puppy Kindergarten with our new pup Mia.

If the criteria for success is to have the most social, most distracted and most self choking puppy due to an irresistible urge to jump on every dog, then we are totally killing it. If not, then we have a long ways to go.

The truth is, Mia is so overly loving of all dogs and all human beings that she cannot contain herself. If that means she will struggle to graduate from Puppy Kindergarten, so be it. We’re confident we will get there with our little rescue.

But it definitely wasn’t that way the first go round with our first dog, Casey.

Before we proceed, kindly answer the multiple choice question below:

When we attended puppy kindergarten with our first dog, Casey, which of the following occurred?

A. We were given a passing grade when all of us knew she wasn’t even close to passing.

B. During the final “challenge”, rather than walk through the maze of cones that lead to a fake front door and fake UPS delivery man, Casey stole one of the cones, ran off with it and proceeded to chow down on it at the feet of one of the other puppy owners.

C. I passionately said the following after our final class “You are such an embarrassment to us, get in the car.”

D. An annoying Jack Russell Terrier humped Casey during every free second of class and I was seconds within challenging his oblivious owner to a fight.

E. All of the Above

As you might have already suspected, if you responded with “E“, you totally nailed it.

Not one of my proudest moments.

When we got Casey back in 1999, we had yet to have children, so she was our first “baby”.

And we treated her exactly like you would your first child. We were the prototypical helicopter parents. The two of us would hover over Casey day and night and attempt to analyze her every move.

Why does she keep scratching herself? F’n fleas, isn’t it?

Why is she attacking our feet? That is part of a deep psychological disorder, I know it.

Why won’t she look us straight in the eye? She has issues with authority already. How will she deal in the real world?

And our true final grade at Puppy Kindergarten did nothing to allay our fears.

But I clearly remember one weekday evening back in early 2000 when we made the turn towards Rational Town. Dinners were always a challenge as Casey would harass us to no end looking for a bite of our Red Beans and Rice. If we put her in her crate, she would rattle the cage to such an obnoxious level that we couldn’t handle it. So we would eat and deal with the lab clawing at our lap. One night, however, my wife forcefully ordered Casey to “lay down” and she friggin did it. And stayed there throughout dinner. Life as we knew it was back. The light at the end of the tunnel appeared.

And looking back, dealing with a puppy was the ultimate in prep for having a child. By the time Jack rolled around in 2002, we understood sleep deprivation. We welcomed the inability to not be able to leave the house. We knew that naps were a must if we wanted to survive that day. In fact, we quickly learned that it may be more difficult to tend to a young puppy than an infant because the infant doesn’t chew on the table legs and most importantly, isn’t the least bit mobile.

Quick aside #1: One memorable helicoptering moment with Jack. On day #2 of him being home from the hospital, we went (yes “we”) to change his diaper and were horrified to see that he had “discarded” what looked like rubber pellets. In a moment of terror, we got out our baby books and did a quick search online for “baby pooping little rubber balls”. We found nothing and feared the worst. Turns out his sopping wet diaper had broken open and the gel balls inside made their way into, well, you know where. Jack – I apologize if you are reading this and promise no one in school will find out. End of aside.

By the time Jamie arrived in 2005, we were baby veterans. While I am proud of how attentive we were, we did hand over our helicopter parenting badges. Sicknesses were not the end of the world. Multiple wake-up calls in the middle of the night were chalked up to being temporary. And once we knew how to properly deploy our man-to-man defense in order to cater to simultaneous needs of both children, we were all set. After a rambunctious puppy and one newborn, we could have handled anything.

And now that applies to our little Mia.

Quick aside #2: How great is the name Mia for a rescue dog? Missing In Action. Big thanks to Deb B. for the heads up on that one.

We’ve been through this Puppy Kindergarten once before and instead of stressing over Mia’s inability to listen or her knack for peeing upon greeting new dogs/people, we are taking it in stride. During our first go round we were so consumed with Casey’s performance that we failed to listen to so much that the instructor had to offer. Now, we are absorbing each lesson, more concerned with learning and taking that knowledge home with us.

She will learn to walk off leash and come to us whenever we call her name.

She will learn that biting/heavy nipping doesn’t fly.

She will drop my shoe on command.

And most importantly to us, we will enjoying the hell out of this puppy phase and will not wish it away.

New puppy observations

Posted on December 16, 2015 by jmarkowski Posted in Dogs, Family .

Yes, it’s only been 4 days with the new puppy, but she has already made quite the impression. Girlfriend loves to love on the whole family but when that snarky side emerges, watch out. The perfect recipe for a dog.

With that in mind, here are ten observations I’ve already made thanks to little ‘ol Mia:

Sleep deprivation will make you do strange things. I remember when we got our first puppy, Casey, back in 1999. We had been married for less than 3 years and only had responsibility for ourselves. When the dog came along, we quickly learned the concept of sleep deprivation. Hosing down the crate outside at 2:00 AM, baths in the sink at all hours of the night, walking the dog barefoot at 3:00 AM all over town in a state of semi consciousness and my ultimate fave, caring for the dog and then showering for work only to realize it was still 2:00 AM.

While Mia has been a decent sleeper so far, I did fall asleep face down in the carpet with my hand stuck in between the grates on her crate last night. What we do …

Witnessing a new puppy brings back floods of memories of our first dog. Our first dog Casey was a senior citizen for what seemed like years, and as she got older it was harder to remember the early years. Watching Mia chew everything in site and play with boundless energy made me miss Casey as a puppy. I hadn’t thought of her in that way for so long but it all came flowing back these past few days. I still miss the hell out of that dog.

No matter how many times you tell them, kids just don’t understand what having a new puppy is all about. I threatened the kids with a contract that they would have to sign before we could welcome a dog into our home. In it would be strict guidelines around their responsibilities/chores and acknowledgment that some of their stuff would get ruined along the way. I never followed through with it because I’m an “empty threat parent” but I really wish I did. While they love the dog to pieces, their faces scream “Will life ever get back to normal?” Yes it will my little ones … in like a year or two. This is what dog ownership is all about.

Working from home with a dog is a fun little challenge. Between us, my wife and I work from out of our home 4 out of 5 days each week. That is great for training a new puppy and hilarious to watch the execution of the multi-tasking. I’ve taken to using the top of Mia’s crate as a work station and conference calls with a 3.5 lb dog curled in one arm is a fun new way to chat with your co-workers.

You kind of can’t go anywhere. And that kind of slows you down around pre-holiday time. Although, there is clearly a lesson to be learned here.

We must keep our eyes to the sky when taking the dog outside. I shit you not, the hawks will snatch her up in no time if we’re not looking.

My voice is capable of reaching octaves previously unknown. The kids have stared at me in awe numerous times already with a look that says “Who is that guy?” And while it can’t be proven, I may have uttered the phrase “Who’s daddy’s puppy wuppy?” in a tone that may destroy all that is left of my street cred.

Time management. When that new puppy is down and sleeping, time to grab that to-do list and get to work.

Pictures of puppies on Facebook trump everything else. Seriously, if I climbed Mt. Everest while juggling lawn darts, I would get fewer likes than a simple picture of a puppy. And people who gave up Facebook last decade suddenly emerge when puppies are on display.

The rescuing of an animal feels better than I ever imagined. That poor thing was stuck in a shelter in South Carolina. And there are so damn many like her. I just wish I could adopt a bunch of them and let them run free here.

Hmmmmm.

Mia

Posted on December 14, 2015 by jmarkowski Posted in Dogs, Family .

Please say hello to Mia, the newest member of our family.

She is a rescue from North Carolina who made her way up to Pennsylvania this past weekend. We can’t thank the great people of Lulu’s Rescue enough for the entire coordination and unbelievable dedication to these animals. We’ve followed them for years now and always knew they were going to be our source for our next dog.

While we knew we would eventually want another dog (in an ironic and bittersweet twist, we picked her up exactly one year to the day after our Casey had passed) we never imagined it happening this quickly. All it took was one photograph of this little angel and we were in. We saw her on Facebook last Tuesday and made the decision to adopt on Wednesday. Insane move for our not so spontaneous family.

Mia is only 3.5 lbs at 9 weeks old and possibly the smallest dog I’ve ever witnessed live.

The kids are still in complete awe of their new sibling and the smiles haven’t left their faces to date.

To say this dog is loving doesn’t do her justice.

It’s only been two full days, but she has shown an incredible ability to run herself ragged, explore every nook and cranny in the house and then melt into the arms of the first person who touches her.

We feel incredibly blessed to have found her and cannot wait to watch her grow up each and every day.

Goodbye Casey

Posted on December 14, 2014 by jmarkowski Posted in Dogs, Family .

We lost our beloved dog Casey yesterday.

Even though she was 15 1/2 years old (how lucky were we?) and frail, it doesn’t make it any easier to accept that she is now gone. The void left behind hurts like hell and the entire family is officially out of tears. I will never forget the kids saying their final goodbyes to Casey and how a whirlwind of old memories flashed by in an instant and punched us in the gut.

Seeing crumbs on the floor now hurts. We never had to worry about them before.

I struggle looking at the peanut butter jar. That is what we used to get Casey to take her medications over the years.

Twice I have moved to refill her water bowl.

I will forever think I hear her paws on the hardwood floor in the early morning.

But I don’t want to this post to be a downer; ha, too late. But seriously, we’ve had enough of that for now. Our therapy over the past 48 hours has been about reminiscing and laughing at all the memories Casey has provided since 1999.

We watched old videos to remember when she was young and spry. That felt good. She also clearly invented the idea of “photo bombing”, as she is literally in almost every home video.

We took out the old photographs (no digital for us in those early years) of when she was just a pup. We shared stories with the kids of Casey before they were born or just too young to remember.

So selfishly, the following pics and commentary are additional therapy for us and an homage to the greatest dog we’ve ever known. As I write this, I hope she is curled up on a couch made of bacon and is chewing away.

Here we go.

We picked Casey out of her litter solely based on the fact that she ran under a nearby car away from her siblings. She had a naughty streak we immediately took a liking to.

The first night she was home with us, she pooped in her cage and rolled in it. Good times. We had to give her a bath 2:30 in the morning. Game on. This dog thing wasn’t going to be easy.

Casey literally never sat still that first year and wiped us the f out. Great, great practice for having children.

Casey was there while we tackled projects in our first home. On this day below, she and her uncle managed to get loose and I ended up picking thorns out of her eyelids.

A few things here. Casey loved car rides and I still hadn’t learned my lesson to not put my wallet on top of the car.

When I say she was our first baby, I am clearly not exaggerating.

She wasn’t cared for or loved at all.

The entire street would smile as they walked by the house and saw her welcoming mug.

Trips to the family lake house were not only enjoyed by the “humans”.

She ALWAYS managed to put a smile on everyone’s face.

Casey never took to any toys other than a football. One of our most distinct memories is of Casey munching on said football as she hung with the family.

But if I had to come up with one lasting image of our beautiful girl, it is of her laying her mouth on our laps while we ate breakfast, lunch or dinner. The girl adored food.

Maybe we tortured her without her knowing once in a while.

Even up until her last day when she was ready to leave us and cross over that rainbow bridge in the sky, she looked like that cute puppy.

There will never be another dog like you Casey and we all want to thank you for the impact you have made on all of our lives. We love you and will never forget you. I would kill to give you one last pizza crust and watch you crunch the hell out of it.

Thanks Casey

Posted on October 12, 2014 by jmarkowski Posted in Dogs, Fall color .

It’s 5:18 AM this morning, Casey is barking at the bottom of the stairs. Yet another wake-up call from our 15 year old labrador retriever. This is much earlier than normal but understandable considering our beloved and elderly dog’s weak bladder.

I ~~climb~~ ~~jump~~ fall out of bed, grab her leash and head outside. As I wait for Casey to take care of business, I am incapable of thought and my eyes may not even be open. All I keep thinking about is returning to my warm bed and maybe another two hours of sleep.

After 5 minutes I realize Casey has no interest in squatting. She is only interested in smelling the deer and rabbits who visited last night. I eventually coerce her into coming back inside so she can enjoy her breakfast but I’m still confused as to why she won’t pee.

I head over to her food bowl and throw in two scoops. But Casey has no interest in eating. That never happens. She has voraciously eaten every meal since 1999. I walk over to her so we can have a chat and then realize what is going on.

My cold and bare feet are drenched.

Now I know why she never did #1 outside.

Son of a …

I grab a bunch of paper towels, some Clorox wipes and begin clean-up time. I am now officially awake for the day.

Ten minutes later and we are as good as new. Casey no longer is worried about the pee barrier to her food bowl and is chowing down. I’m cleaning my feet in the tub. Good times.

Since I am now up for the day, I make a pot of coffee and hop on my laptop. Casey and I catch up on our favorite websites as the sun rises. I love that dog but dammit, I am tired.

Casey then puts her head on my lap indicating she is now in need of pee#2. No problem. I grab the leash again, my heavenly black coffee and we head outside.

And when we do, I see this …