The Obsessive Neurotic Gardener

Category Archives: Edibles

Swingset trellis

Posted on by Posted in Edibles, Family, Garden memoir .

“Jamie, how would you feel if we took down the swingset and put in a large vegetable garden and orchard? We could all work on it together. Wouldn’t that be fun? You could learn all about gardening. Plus, you don’t really play on it any longer.”

“Dad, you would ruin my childhood.”

OK then.

I’m still not sure if she was joking, but point taken. This swingset was put up before she could even walk and she is now 10.5.    

swingset trellis

Those are actually nicely trimmed weeds within the “playground” and not grass. At some point I gave up on mulching it and trying to fight the otherworldly weeds that emerged there each spring.

And now I’m prepared to turn that area into a deer-proof vegetable garden along with a few fruit trees for good measure. I’m still an amateur when it comes to growing anything edible but I’m ripe and ready (see what I did there?) to get all sorts of educated.

But what to do about that swingset?

I’m a nostalgic guy and all but it’s just a swingset, right? We’ll always have those memories of sliding down the slide in the snow, pushing the kids for hours on end when they were wee things and that one time when our family picnic went awry when the bees started to attack us all. Just because the swingset is physically removed doesn’t mean the memories are removed, correct?

Would you mind telling her that?

swing-jamie

And them that.

swing-jamie-and-jack

So my plan looks to have hit a roadblock. I can’t live with being a destroyer of memories.

But then one wonderful reader (may have actually been two) made a suggestion that I really should have thought of myself …

Use the swingset as trellis for beans and other edible vines. A swingset trellis solves the dilemma. 

I get it.

The swingset still stands in some capacity satisfying the children’s need to not erase their childhood and we get our long desired vegetable garden. F’n brilliant.

I haven’t approached the little decision makers with the swingset trellis idea yet but I think it could work. I can sell this. I’m even thinking we may be able to keep the set functional in ways while all sorts of deliciousness grows around them. This could actually be fun and dare I say, creative.

Here are some ideas I’ve already pulled from other sites:

Check out this swingset as trellis.

And this swingset as arbor.

And the benefit of not creating waste by doing this.

What do you think about a swingset trellis concept? Have any suggestions on how to best sell this to potentially heartbroken children? How about any creative ways to incorporate the swingset and keep it functional, like still being able to swing?

Thank you in advance for your feedback.

How one emotional journey led to apple trees

Posted on by Posted in Edibles, Family, Tree .

I will never give you gardening advice on this blog.

Never have, never will.

There are plenty of other places online and in killer books to find great info from experts all across the globe.

What I’ve enjoyed presenting here for the past 6 years is a peek into my own garden and what I’m doing, be it educational or smart or as you’ve witnessed many times before, just plain dumb.

I’ve also enjoyed sharing the emotions that come with hardcore gardening because yes, gardening is an emotional undertaking. There is anger when big plans fall apart over the winter. There is frustration when there is no answer as to why that stupid perennial still won’t bloom after three years in the ground. There is elation on those days when it all seems to come together. There is indifference when you get tired and start to question whether or not it is all worth it.

And all of those emotions occur within the same day.

I’ve also taken to sharing the evolution of not only the garden as a whole, but also that of specific plants. When I can, I like to capture plants in their infancy and then document their growth in subsequent years. I also enjoy sharing a plant’s ever changing look and feel from season to season. With that info in hand, it helps when deciding whether or not to purchase said plant and how it fits into your overarching garden vision.

I needed to dispense that background info before getting to the point of today’s post. Because all of that ties into what I’m about to show you.

A week or two ago my wife and I were enjoying one of our typical romantic soirees; both on our devices on separate couches while the kids watched Family Feud and the dog jumped from couch to couch trying to determine which was more comfortable and which adopted parent would offer up more attention (P.S. My wife wins every time).

After one of the many Steve Harvey “survey says?”, my wife handed me her iPad to show me a blog she had been reading. The couple and their young children were picking apples from a tree while skipping and smiling and enjoying life to the fullest. A f’n Hallmark moment. The intention was for me to see that the apple tree was producing 4 different fruits on one tree. She had never seen that before and admittedly, neither had this so-called expert gardener.

I handed the iPad back to my wife with the intention of then researching this fascinating apple tree to see if it was legitimate. But I couldn’t shake the photo. Yes, I realized it was a staged pic and the kids more than likely were fooled into giving a shit for their mom’s sake, but it still grabbed my attention for two reasons:

1)How did my own children get so old (10 and 13) so fast and were they already beyond the age of wanting to really hang with us? Could we legitimately pull off this type of scene ourselves? How much longer do we actually have in our current home knowing we’d like to move south in the future because we both hate the cold with a passion. Maybe 12-13 years? How does that factor into what I still plant here knowing our rough timeline?

2)Why haven’t I tried growing an apple tree before?

I know, you probably think this is a convenient set-up for what is to follow but I swear on all that is holy that this is exactly how it played out in my head.

That night I went on to the Stark Brothers website determined to purchase an apple tree or two. I still had time to nurse these trees to the point of giving fruit before Jack headed off to college. Poorly draining clay soil be damned, I’ll figure it our some how.

Within ten minutes I had purchased three trees:

Honeycrisp

Red Rome Beauty Apple (as a pollinator for the Honeycrisp)

4 on 1 Antique Apple (yes, similar to what we had seen in that blog post referenced above)

Time was of the essence and I could not deal with the regret of not having at least tried to grow apple trees. Too spontaneous? One could argue that, but I got caught up in the moment and allowed the nostalgic wave to get the best of me.

So last weekend, the three bare root trees were planted. It was a bit cold (in the upper 40’s) and windy and real wet but I feared not getting these in the ground soon enough. After some careful planning for like 3 minutes, I knew where I wanted them.

Out came 3′ in diameter sections of the lawn and in went my 3-4′ sticks of joy.

apple trees

Those trees are further apart than they look and the trees are all dwarf, expected to reach about 8-10′ in size. I’m not that incompetent.

After digging the holes and planting, I tried my best to ignore the reminders of how wet the soil stays with our high water table.

wet lawn 2

wet lawn

Too late, I’m all in. And determined to make this work. I even mapped out a plan to massively expand an existing garden bed off of my deck that would include two of the apple trees and a nearby River Birch. I’m thinking a small seating area with some large pots since I don’t want to mess with the roots of the three trees.

nrew bed

So there you have it.

Another opportunity to share a plant’s origin with you from the outset and we can all watch them grow up together and hopefully bear fruit some day. That, or we can laugh at my not-well-thought-out attempt at an orchard.

Either way, you the reader wins.

My emotions got the best of me here but I’m glad that they did. This should be fun and frustrating and scary and annoying …

Calf cramps and phosphorous smoothies

Posted on by Posted in Edibles, Health .

I’ve been getting horrific calf cramps the past few nights. They typically hit while I am in full REM sleep and I wake up in temporary horror when they kick in. Once I am awake enough to comprehend what is going on, I become a bumbling idiot trying to point my toes towards me and then away from me until the pain subsides (I still don’t know which is the better option). Once they subside, I develop cramp paranoia and have trouble sleeping comfortably again. Fun.

I’ve read all I can on the cause of calf cramps. It isn’t dehydration because I drink 8- 10 glasses of water a day. It isn’t due to excessive exercise as it hits at all different times; the night after a hard run and nights after I haven’t exercised for days. I don’t take birth control pills and I’m fairly certain that I’m not pregnant.

The only explanation and one that makes a whole lot of sense is a lack of potassium and/or calcium. Here’s why:

I hate bananas – probably the best way to get the necessary potassium. Until someone creates a new breed of banana that doesn’t have that nasty texture, I’m out.

I hate milk – ever since my kindergarten classmate threw up her milk all over my shoes, I can’t stomach the stuff. That smell never left me. My parents made me drink it and I still resent them for it. It was the greatest part about leaving for college, no more forced milk. Pathetic, i know.

Knowing all this, and knowing the calf cramps are … cramping my style … it’s time to make a move. Bananas in smoothies works (no texture issues) and daily calcium pills are now on the docket. We’ll see just how much of an impact this will have.

Which brings me to my giant lemon …

Don’t get the transition? Here we go.

I talked a few weeks back about the soon to be beautifully ripe Meyer lemon I had growing on my Meyer lemon tree. You can read it here.

I finally picked it yesterday as it was time to finally enjoy it. Off it came and the first thing I needed to do was measure the giant.

meyer lemon

About 5 inches wide and 15 inches in diameter.

I had personally never seen a lemon that large and I started to wonder if just maybe I am the lemon whisperer. I could envision a future of people coming from far and wide to view my lemons. A potential book and a movie and a legacy passed on to my kids.

And then I cut into it.

Um … what

meyer lemon 2

Holy rind Batman.

Doesn’t really smell like a lemon.

And the pulp is very dry.

What a f’n colossal disappointment. Where did I go wrong?

It didn’t take very long to figure it out. After a quick Google search, it seemed to be very obvious. Two different things actually (best description here):

Too much nitrogen

Too little phosphorus 

Hmmmm. I’ve kept up with the feeding over the last few years, but nothing excessive. I’ve used a balanced citrus fertilizer but maybe it is time to switch it up. Maybe start using a better organic option like bone meal.

But then again, the fruit to follow looks normal, appearing to have that patented thin Meyer lemon rind.

meyer lemon 3

Do nothing? I can’t. Need to take action.

So in conclusion:

Me: Banana based smoothies and calcium supplements

The lemon tree: Phosphorous based smoothie and bone meal

See what I did there tying it all together? I know, impressive.

Meyer Lemon Challenge

Posted on by Posted in Edibles, Family, Tree .

I take my lemons very seriously. 

Is that weird? Actually, allow me to be more specific and less weird.

I take the lemons produced from my Meyer Lemon tree very seriously.

Not so weird, right?

Need proof of this lemon allegiance? Check this out from a few years ago:

A special lemon

Truth is, we haven’t harvested a lemon since that day … but that is about to change … in a big way.

Last year I received a ton of great feedback from readers (thank you!) and from a dude I met on an awesome local gardening radio show I’ve been lucky to frequent over the years. Here is a consolidated list of those tips (all pertain to winter indoor care):

  • Before bringing indoors, place tree in partial shade outdoors for 2 weeks and then another 2 weeks in the attached unheated garage.
  • Spritz the leaves with water every other day to up the humidity.
  • When watering, use warm water.
  • Place the lemon tree on top of a warming mat.
  • Keep the tree away from window/door drafts. I close the curtain to my back sliding door whenever possible as a wind barrier.
  • When in bloom, use a Q-tip and just poke it into the flowers.
  • Fertilize even if it is the winter.

Now some of these tips may be debatable or unnecessary (based on online research I’ve meticulously conducted) but I cannot complain about the results this year. Currently, I have ten lemons on my tree, including this just-about-to-ripen-monstrosity.

meyer lemon challenge

I’ve never seen a lemon this big as it roughly the size of a grapefruit. Now I just pray that it tastes as good as it looks.

Some other current day fruit.

lemon 3

lemon

And the first set of buds just emerged within the last week.

lemon buds

Color me giddy with excitement.

Back to that first mother of a lemon I just showed you. I am thinking we will pull it off the tree within the next week. And it is clearly big enough to easily split into four decent sized wedges.

With that in mind, I am challenging my family to come up with a creative use for their quarter of a lemon. I have my plan mapped out already and spoiler alert, it involves sun screen and the PennEast pipeline. The rest of the family is now on the clock.

I’ll be sure to dedicate a post to each of our upcoming lemon plans and challenge each of you to get creative with your own lemons.

Is that weird? Who cares, do it already and let me know what you did in the comments.

 

Meyer Lemon Tree Update

Posted on by Posted in Edibles, Tree .

There have to be close to 40 blooms on my Meyer Lemon tree right now.

lemon

And a bunch more on the way.

lemon buds

I always anticipate quite a bit of leaf drop after bringing the tree indoors each fall, but this year I made it a point to allow the tree to slowly adjust to its new surroundings.

We went from full sun to partial sun outdoors for two weeks in September.

Then we stayed in the unheated garage for a two weeks once the temps dipped severely in October.

Then we made our way inside into a south facing window with supplemental light through the use of a grow light.

This new plan of a phased adjustment to a life indoors has worked with very little leaf drop along the way. However, within the last week or so we are seeing a lot of this …

lemon leaf

After some panicky research online, I decided to head in the fertilizing direction because I know I haven’t over watered the Meyer Lemon and saturated the roots. It must need some food.

So we did a feeding.

And started a program of misting the leaves in early afternoon on sunny days (Thanks Twitter friends).

I added a tray of pebbly water nearby to up the humidity.

I’ve even quickly removed a sucker forming below the graft line because I’m a serious mofo with this Meyer Lemon tree care now.

lemon sucker

We’ll see how this all pans out over the next few weeks. To date, I’ve only had one lemon with so many other tiny forming lemons falling off at some point.

So my question for you all – is there anything else I can do to up the chances of keeping the lemons on the tree?

 

Grats.

 

A Summer Farro Salad

Posted on by Posted in Edibles .

It’s been a long time coming, but I’ve finally coerced my wife into contributing another post about food/cooking to this blog. We were all first introduced to her when she shared a strawberry goat cheese bruschetta recipe with us and we have been begging for a follow-up ever since. I can vouch for the following having devoured it recently and think you will enjoy just the same.

I give you my better half:     

I’ve made this salad countless times this summer and I’m sharing the “recipe” because I’m guessing there’s a good chance you’re looking for more ways to enjoy the peak-of-season tomatoes and basil that’s so prolific right now in gardens and farmer’s markets across the land. Or, maybe you’re searching for something different to bring to that end of summer BBQ.

I use the word “recipe” loosely because, as you’ll see, this is really just a blueprint. I apologize in advance if you’d prefer more precise measurements and method, but this is a case of “a little more of this, a little less of that”, based on your preferences and what you have on hand. This “recipe” is really hard to mess up.

It’s quick  to pull together and the amounts can be easily flexed up or down to feed whatever sized crowd you have. Easy, delicious, summery and can we call it healthy? A winner in my book.

Farro* Salad with Tomatoes, Basil, Feta & Olives

*If you’re unfamiliar with farro, as I was just a few months ago, let me introduce you…it’s a satisfyingly chewy and hearty grain that is also really good for you. I’m able to find it in larger, well-stocked grocery stores without a problem. You can absolutely make this with something more familiar, like orzo (which I’ve done many times), but I think using farro makes this a standout. I urge you to give it a try!

Ingredients:

1 cup dry farro, prepared according to package directions
(you can sub any small shape pasta, or another grain of choice…this will make a nice amount for a side dish for 4 or 6)

Tomatoes, chopped
(at least 1 cup, more if you’d like…with great tomatoes, you can never really have too much… use a mix of colors and varieties for extra punch…my go-to combo has been yellow Sun Sugar and Red Currant cherry tomatoes – delicious!)

faro3

Psst … John here … I grew those tomatoes … go me

Kalamata olives, pitted and chopped
(at least 1/3 cup, more if you’re an olive fan)

Feta cheese, crumbled
(I’ve been buying 8 oz chunks of feta and using at least half of it per recipe…sub another salty cheese of choice if you don’t dig feta)

Fresh basil, torn or cut into thin strips
(not sure what to tell you about amounts…I like to use a lot)

Olive oil

Lemon

Salt & pepper

faro4

Method:

Place cooked farro (or pasta) in bowl and allow to cool slightly. Add tomatoes, olives, feta and basil. Drizzle liberally with olive oil, and the strained juice of one lemon. Add salt and pepper to taste.

If you’d prefer a “proper” dressing recipe with exact measurements instead of this more casual approach, there are countless versions online…I’d look for one that includes the same basics of olive oil, lemon juice (or maybe even red wine vinegar) and perhaps a squeeze or two of honey. You can whisk that up and pour over the farro while still warm to absorb.

faro5

One final note, if you make this ahead of time, you may find that the salad dries out a bit in the refrigerator and therefore you may need to add more olive oil,  lemon and salt. Make sure you taste before serving.

Enjoy these last few weeks of summer!

 

 

 

 

 

Hiding the vegetables

Posted on by Posted in Edibles, How-to, Ornamental grass .

With all of the deer that roam my property, I have struggled to grow my own vegetables, outside of some container grown tomatoes on my deck. Yes, I could fence in an area to keep them out, but that is assuming:

A) I have the initiative
B) The time to do so.

Not so much.

I was smart enough to create a raised bed and amend the soil in this bed a few years ago. I am not a complete buffoon. A variety of herbs from basil to rosemary to thyme to oregano to parsley have thrived here. All that was missing were the vegetables. And all I needed to do was find a way to keep the herds out. It seems simple enough but the task eluded me for years.  

This spring I bought a bunch of Panicum ‘Heavy Metal’ because … well … that’s what I do. I had no plan for where they would be planted so I circled the house 3 to 4 times before settling on a spot surrounding my raised bed. That is when the light bulb went off:

I love grasses
Deer don’t like grasses 
Why don’t I hide my raised bed behind grasses  

It was a win/win/win.

I’m not sure why it took me so long to come up with this simple concept but it is what it is. No time to look back and lament.

Here is what the raised bed looks like today:

And all of the tomatoes I planted this year have yet to be touched:

I even harvested a ton of seed grown green beans for the first time:

And I have been eating kale right off the plant for weeks now.

I think I am on to something here.

I plan on adding some cool season grasses as well so there is coverage while the warm season grasses are coming into their own. I also have a bunch of boxwood in the area so it is a garden filled with anti deer venom.

I know, you don’t have to say it … I’m a genius.

And by the way, be on the lookout for an upcoming post from my wife who will tell you about her favorite tomato (you’re welcome hon) and a recipe that includes said tomato.

   

One special lemon

Posted on by Posted in Edibles, Family, Tree .

Five or so years ago my wife gave me a Meyer Lemon tree for Christmas. I still vividly remember the chilly December evening when the four of us were enjoying dinner out and the kids were all giggly and whispering and daring me to guess what Mommy got me for Christmas. I eventually coaxed it out of them and we agreed I would plant it later the next day, a week or two before December 25th. That night was one of those randomly awesome family times when the stars are aligned and you want time to freeze so the kids don’t age another day. Those nights mean more to me than any holiday or vacation.

Since that time, the tree has been brought indoors each autumn where it pouts and drops a bunch of leaves only to rebound when it makes its way back outdoors the following spring. I would get plenty of fragrant flowers along the way, but never an actual lemon …

… until late last summer, when I finally discovered an actual lemon hanging precariously off of a bare branch:

The tree itself had seen better days, but the little lemon was enough to keep me inspired heading into the winter:

Once the tree made its way inside the house, I placed it in its usual southern exposure in my kitchen:

Except now that we had an actual fruit present, it was time to get serious. I had a family counting on me to provide for them. If this fruit were to not come to … fruition … I may never gain back their faith in me. These are the times when real men step up and deliver. So I purchased a grow light and fertilized the tree for the first time while it was indoors. Soon enough, the lemon started to mature:

And new growth appeared all over the tree:

My only fear now, was that the lemon would fall off of the tiny branch and we would be screwed.

But this was a special lemon and she wasn’t going to be denied. By the time we hit May/June, the lemon looked like a … lemon … and I knew we were in the clear:

Now the challenge was all about how to actually enjoy it. It had to be special and ceremonious and we needed to do it right.

Last week I pulled the lemon off of the tree, ready to force a decision upon ourselves as to how it would be consumed. Do we all get a quarter of it and simply eat it? I was game but no one else was on board. Do we use it in a cocktail? Not a bad idea but then the kids would feel left out. Maybe we each take our 1/4 lemon and do whatever the hell we want to with it? Still no definitive direction.

This past Saturday was my son’s 12th birthday. We were having some family over and decided on serving lobster rolls, one of his personal favorites. I wasn’t thinking about that Meyer lemon sitting in the fruit bowl in the kitchen at all until I stepped out the front door and saw this:

My son was chilling, drinking a lemon soda and I commented on how much he loves all things lemon flavored. BOOM, it all came into focus. This was the day our special lemon would be devoured.

True story, my wife craved and was obsessed with citrus when she was pregnant with my son. Lemonade, lemon ice, lime cookies and orange juice were all a part of her daily diet. And no lie, from the day he was born and could eat regular foods, my son loved everything lemon flavored. There has to be a connection here.

I ran back into the house and consulted with my wife. We had the plan in place. Out came the lemon and we cut it in half:

Looking good.

One quarter or so was eaten by yours truly (delicious by the way) and the rest was squeezed into a pot:

The lemon juice would be flavoring the butter that would be flavoring the …

Lobsters!

The lobster rolls were a huge hit and the best I’ve ever had. That friggin lemon juice made all the difference in the world. Our special fruit used for a special kid on his special day. Quick, call Hallmark, I’m getting all mushy and crap.

Happy birthday big guy, never change. We love you.

If we never get another lemon off of that tree, it still did its job.

When life gives you a lemon …

Posted on by Posted in Edibles, Tree .

… stare at said lemon for hours on end, shocked you could even produce one of these on a tropical tree in your colder climate. Or something like that.

Weather still sucks here in case you were wondering. The only way to even think about checking out the garden is via hovercraft and mine is in the shop.

So I’ll have to entertain myself by ogling the lone Meyer lemon that is on the tree right now.

Well that and the last remaining bloom on the tree as well.

OK and also the new growth that has emerged all over the tree.

Did I mention how wonderful it is outside?

Yes, that is lawn and not the Delaware River.

I did eventually find  a way to get out in the garden without being swept away just to enjoy the bulbs that have started to put on growth at a nice pace.

The daffodils.

And the crocuses.

Even more exciting, is the promise of Viburnum blooms in the near future.

It is coming slowly, but at least we are trending in the right direction.

Meyer lemon tree

Posted on by Posted in Edibles, Tree .
For four years now, I’ve been doing my best to keep a Meyer Lemon tree alive and somewhat thriving. It is a container bound tree that lives outdoors June through September and indoors in front of a south facing window the remainder of the year. It has been a struggle ever since I received the little tree stub for Christmas from my beautiful bride but I am determined to eventually see the “fruits” of my labor.
Here is how it looks in its current state (actually from a week ago):      

It has quadrupled in size but as you can tell, it is a bit awkward as many leaves have dropped from the branches over the years. As I move the container indoors each autumn, the tree becomes unhappy and sheds some leaves in protest. The tree manages to hold on OK through the winter, but it is your classic “one step forward and two steps back” situation.

So now I’ve decided to make some changes to hopefully get me a nice looking and well limbed tree and most importantly, some friggin fruit. Actually, my first fruit appeared this summer and here’s hoping I can keep it on the tree over the winter:

Fingers are crossed.

Back to my changes:

  • I think I panicked a bit in the past and brought my tree in too soon; usually mid to late September. This year, I gave the tree a few more weeks of outdoor time and only brought it in last week in anticipation of our first frost.
  • I made it a point to slowly transition my tree from the outdoors to its ultimate winter landing place. The tree went from full sun all summer to partial sun for a week to my garage for a week. I am now ready to bring her indoors and hopefully the transition is a bit less stressful this year.
  • I never considered fertilizing my lemon tree while indoors but I am open to doing so this year. I’ve read quite a bit on the topic and while opinions vary, I am leaning towards feeding. What would you suggest?
  • I had previously lined the bottom of the container with perlite to aid in the drainage process but I can now attest to the fact that I believe that actually hindered the drainage. The perlite is out, new soil and a larger container are in and here’s hoping we get some positives out of this.
  • Finally, I made the investment in a grow light and I’m counting on this to supplement the light the tree typically gets from my south facing window.

I’ll be closely tracking the development of the tree this “off-season” and will share the results. In the interim, I beg for your feedback on what has or hasn’t worked for you.

As always, thank you.

John