The Obsessive Neurotic Gardener

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Posted on May 15, 2015 by jmarkowski Posted in Garden problems, Ornamental grass .

I can confirm that the neurotic part is accurate.

And it was this gosh dang view that did it.

carex under tree

First off, how awesome are the Carex Appalichica above? They look unbelievable and downright radiant when back lit by the sun.

carex under tree 2

Back on topic …

I cannot stop myself from gazing at the above referenced view. It dominates my thoughts day and night.

I see it when I am ravaging the cupboards in the kitchen.

I see it when I shut off Family Feud on the TV because it is oddly inappropriate and not for a nine year old girl.

It’s the first thing my eye moves to when I set foot out on my deck and threaten the rabbits.

I see it when I pace in the upstairs hallway while brushing my teeth, trying to up the “step” count on my Fitbit.

And here’s the thing. If it draws the eye in I guess it is a good thing, but is it? I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. Look at it again please.

carex under tree

It’s too formal, right? But formal works sometimes, right? I’m over thinking this right?

With complete compassion for those who are unfortunately afflicted and diagnosed with true OCD, I fall just short of having it according to my own self diagnosis.

I require 7 strokes under each arm when applying deodorant.

I am a serial stacker (ask my wife). If papers are stacked I feel in control, even if the important ones are lost in the pile.

If you saw my desk at work you would think no one lived there. Coworkers have moved my family photos a few inches just to see if I’ll notice when I arrive at my desk. Spolier alert: every damn time.

I bunch things in odd groupings without even realizing it.

I could go on but I’ll spare you.

In my true domain, the garden, is where it gets trickier. I despise almost all formal gardens and love those that are wild and free. Except I cannot do wild and free … or formal. I operate in this middle ground where the design feels in control but not too much in control. Controlled chaos if you will. Hello neurotic.

My M.O. is to plant 1, 3, 5 or if I’m feeling nuts, 7 of a like plant and keep them in a triangle/quadrilateral pattern. In control yet trying to fool myself that I’m letting it all hang out. It makes me f’n nuts and I wish I could just embrace the chaotic. Does anyone else think this deeply about their damn garden? If so, please start a support group and invite me immediately.

This dilemma has a direct impact on the development of my now ten year old garden. When you feel the need to constantly evaluate the location of plants in your garden you become a tinkerer. A tinkerer never relaxes. A tinkerer moves the same plant three times in one day. A tinkerer never allows a plant to establish itself. As a result, the tinkerer’s garden never looks mature. Hi, I’m John and I am a tinkerer.

I also kick ass when it comes to weeding because of my neurosis. I see all weeds in all spots and need them gone. I even get a bit shaky when I can’t get to them. But I’ve never sprayed a chemical in my life. Just give me a trowel and maybe a flat head screwdriver and I’ll dominate. I can get at the toughest weed like a bulldog but then have the delicate touch in order to get the entire root system. It is an art form and don’t let anyone else tell you differently. For $50 and hour I can be had.

Can we go back to the photo one more time?

carex under tree

The grasses look too formal don’t they? Or does the sweeping curve make sense? Does it need to circle the entire tree? Should I just be happy they are thriving in that spot? Did you tune out already?

 

 

 

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14 Comments
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14 Responses

  1. Michaele Anderson says
    May 15, 2015 at 8:44 pm

    I know that feeling of agitation when something becomes an itch that needs to be scratched. Here’s my observation…when I have a generous number of the same plant, I try to think how nature would place them…more the drift idea. It would end up being asymmetrical but maybe the addition of another plant or an item of ornamentation like a birdbath or something could serve as a way to balance the swath. Your particular carex is quite appealing.

    • jmarkowski says
      May 16, 2015 at 10:37 pm

      Michaele – that damn itch, right? The truth is the roots of the River Birch make it nearly impossible to plant anything there so I am thrilled the Carex are thriving. I’ll be switching it up (ha), just not sure how yet.

  2. colleen says
    May 15, 2015 at 9:29 pm

    Hi John – these carex are just lovely! But yes, you may be over thinking this. How about taking a step back and looking at more than the carex alone. I’m thinking that there is a whole shrub or tree that they are semi-circling. And a somewhat larger landscape that this garden circle integrates into. Maybe pick something from another area of the garden and echo it into the plant circle with the carex – a color, or a certain plant to join with the carex, or plants to include as backdrop on the other side of the shrub/tree? I like the arrangement of carex but if all you can see is the carex then it may need friends to help distract you!

    • jmarkowski says
      May 16, 2015 at 10:39 pm

      Colleen – love every idea! Right now the tree is isolated in the lawn and as I type this I’m ready to expand a nearby bed to meet the tree. Problem solved … for now.

  3. kate says
    May 16, 2015 at 8:53 am

    nothing wrong with a border row of clumping grasses to add a touch of formality to an otherwise informal garden. Every garden needs some structure. I like your carex row (I would personally circle the whole tree, or even fill in the whole space with the carex). Your style seems to be working for you thus far – why fight it? It’s an expression of who you are. (What’s bothering me is that I count EIGHT clumps of Carex. Not 5, not 7. What’s THAT about??)

    • jmarkowski says
      May 16, 2015 at 10:41 pm

      Kate – Now I need to count how men I actually have. Dammit. Thought it was 9 but now I’m visibly shaking. Or as you suggested, time to acquire more and go all out!

  4. Laurin Lindsey says
    May 16, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    I am a bit ocd, I think my housekeeper is trying to cure me. She can not put ANYTHING back were it was! And I have not meet a stack of papers I haven’t straightened. It is bad when you start doing it at other peoples homes however. But she is good at cleaning! Oddly in the garden as long as the hardscape is “perfect” I am fine with the plants doing their own thing. To me your carex sweep is a good start. I think it needs friends…a back drop with a different color of green and leaf shape. It looks like the beginning of a good composition that is waiting for you to finish it!

    • jmarkowski says
      May 16, 2015 at 10:43 pm

      Laurin – good to know there are more like me out there! I would love to add some “friends”, just need to figure out who they are. Fun and maddening at the same time.

  5. Clare says
    May 16, 2015 at 5:23 pm

    I love those carex! I would circle the whole tree. It might be fun to have one “formal” spot like this in your garden (it will drive the people who know you nuts!) It’s hard to tell in the pictures, but if the carex are right at the edge of the mulched bed, I would take out the bed a little to make sure the brown mulch can be seen between the carex and the grass line. The glowing green of the carex looks so nice against the brown mulch so get that same contrast on both sides of the carex.

    • Deborah says
      May 17, 2015 at 7:42 am

      I tend to agree, Clare. My thought precisely!

  6. jmarkowski says
    May 16, 2015 at 10:44 pm

    Clare – All of the comments above have me inspired and now I can add yours to the mix. They do look fantastic against the mulch. Thanks!

  7. Kimberly Thomas says
    May 17, 2015 at 7:59 am

    I feel like we have eerie similarities, lol! Do you do that to “grab” the reader? I think it’s perfect. Less pattern would look weedy. I go for a pattern but then over plant or add a little chaos to blur the formality and 3 or 5 are the perfect number 🙂

    • jmarkowski says
      May 20, 2015 at 11:05 am

      Kim – good to know there are others like me out there! Thank you. I like the term “blur the formality” a lot too!

  8. Wendy Moore says
    May 25, 2015 at 4:45 pm

    I’m a fellow tinkerer, and I now wear it comfortably like an old pair of jeans. I once heard an interview with a filmmaker who was asked if he ever saw the finished movie and wanted to change anything. He replied that he almost always felt that way, because it wasn’t until he saw the whole thing end-to-end that he knew what it was supposed to be. (I’m paraphrasing.) That’s how I feel about my gardens. 😉

    I always plant in 3 or 5, sometimes 7 when I’m feeling adventurous! I’m the same as you: I can’t let go enough to just scatter seeds and see what happens, and a formal garden inspires no passion, so I struggle somewhere in the middle. Garden Control Freaks unite!

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