I tried.

I really did.

I wasn’t going to post yet again today (my sincerest apologies).

But as you can figure out by now, that didn’t happen.

I know, yay it’s Friday, TGIF, woo-hoo weekend. Well before I could join you with that sentiment, I needed to get a few things off my chest (always found that saying odd as I really don’t think I carry things on my chest).     

Not to sound too dramatic, but on this morning’s garden walkabout, I found nothing but negatives. It’s as if the plants had a secret meeting and decided to knock me down a few pegs. I imagine it going something like this – “He’s a little too content lately. He needs to remember this isn’t that easy. I want you all to put your worst bud or worst petal forward and make a bad impression.” Well, consider it a success. And to prove it to you, I got photos. Warning – this isn’t pretty but it’s my therapy so I really don’t care how you feel: 

Hold on a sec, just puked in my mouth a bit. OK … here goes. This Siberian Iris should be used as an educational tool on when you know your Iris needs to be divided. It’s got that big old open hole in the middle that screams “cut me already you dope”. Well, I will do just that after they bloom and will be sure to document each step along the way.    

The Iris are blooming but the foliage is no taller than a foot or so. I think I also made the mistake of leaving all of the spent blooms on the plants all year thinking it would provide some level of winter interest. Well, that was way overrated.

Ain’t she a beauty? The cold snap we had has done just this to all my hydrangeas so we got some pruning to do in order to recover. I am finding this very hy-draining.

Even my precious Eupatorium ‘Chocoloate’ seems affected by the near freezing temps. Seriously, if these do not recover fully I am going to put a beat-down on something. This is one of my faves and it looks phenomenal behind a bunch of white blooming Echinacea ‘Fragrant Angel’.         

Knockout roses have none of the problems regular roses do. Oh really … is that so. This crap look good to you? The blooms seem unaffected (so far) but damn I need nice clean foliage too. I see no signs of aphids or any other critters that are causing this damage. I am going to camp out with a flashlight one of these nights and find out who is causing such a ruckus.  

Joke for you. How can you tell if someone is a novice gardener? Answer – they plant mint in a raised bed with great soil and then ignore it. I planted one of these 2 years ago and they come back as often as Brett Favre. You can see here it has grown under the raised bed planter and is about to suffocate it to death. Nice job John.     

One last one for you. These two shots show Catmint planted along my front bed. They are doing real well and I love them. The problem is the spacing. I originally had 8 of these planted along the front but had them planted way to close together. As if I were solving a riddle, I tried to move as few as possible in order to improve the spacing. Smashing success (sarcastic wink). So now here’s my new thought and need your opinion. For this year at least, I was going to plant annuals between each of these. Will that look too checkerboard like? If you think it will work, which annuals would you suggest?

Well thank you for allowing me the opportunity to visually vent. It is truly like therapy and I feel better already.

Thank you … and stay thirsty my friends.

ONG         

And you need it after my “unusual” and “wordy” post from yesterday.Apologies to those who said “Um … dude you’ve flipped your lid” after reading that post. Onwards and upwords:

Iris ‘Ruffled Velvet’

 Iris ‘Ruffled Velvet’

Itea ‘Henry’s Garnet’

Malus ‘Prairie Fire’

Hypericum “Albury People’

 
By now you all know the story of Eat, Pray, Love (because I know you all watch Oprah or at least keep an eye on the New York Times top seller list). It was a world wide sensation and tells the story of one woman’s journey from one day crying in a heap on her bathroom floor to eventually making her way to places like Italy and India where she “found herself”. It is now a soon to be major motion picture starring Julia Roberts and that dude from No Country for Old Men who maybe had the best hair ever seen in a film.

Well, the author, Elizabeth Gilbert, may have written a sequel about her subsequent marriage at the conclusion of the first book, but I am here today to suggest, not a sequel, but the same style story, but from a new perspective. Our central character will be male and he will discover his inner horticultural-ness through a different type journey.

I present you today with the official manuscript/preview/mini-screenplay of my new vision:

This is the story of one man, who one day found himself face down in the mud (was actually more like acidic wet clay) seemingly having hit rock bottom only to bounce back and pull himself up by the boot straps and complete a long journey of much needed self awakening. This is:

DIG, PLANT, GROW

Today, I will present you with the introduction. Be on the look out for parts 1-3 in the very near future:

Our main character, we’ll call him Joe, seemingly had the perfect life. A loving wife (although she had a strange obsession with Tim McGraw), a cute little dog his wife kept in an oversized purse (he always really wanted a Lab) and two cats (Joe really never “got” cats). He worked as an accountant at a large corporation and made what his wife called “OK money”. Every morning Joe put on the corporate uniform – button down shirt, nicely pressed khakis and the same dress shoes he has been wearing since his college graduation. Joe also ate the same breakfast every morning – a bowl of Kashi cereal (his wife said it was healthy according to the Internet) and an apple. Joe didn’t like coffee so he drank a Mountain Dew each morning to get a nice “rush”.

Joe drove to work each morning in a carpool with three other guys that lived in neighboring towns. While the other three talked about their Fantasy Baseball teams or the state of the economy, Joe quietly read his collection of Fine Gardening magazines. He kept a highlighter in his pocket and highlighted all of the tips he wanted to eventually compile in a huge database. The other dudes quietly laughed at Joe and his gardening thing but for the most part left him alone. After all, he paid a larger share of the gas costs because he was the furthest away from the office (or so they told him).

Each night, after a sensible dinner usually consisting of a meat, a vegetable and a starch, Joe would venture outside and tend to his gardens. They were very understated but nice. He dreamed of owning a large property where he could become more creative and increase the number of plants he owned.

One night, as it was becoming almost too dark to see anything, Joe pushed his shovel into the ground as he was attempting to transplant a Hydrangea to an area that received more shade. As he shook the shovel up and down trying to get as much of the root ball as possible, Joe felt dizzy and began to collapse. He tried like hell to fight through it but it was useless – he was going down hard.

Joe eventually came to and managed to open his eyes but there was a blinding light shining on him and he could not focus clearly. It appeared as if there was a giant Farmer guy, wearing really cool overalls, speaking to him. Joe tried to make sense of the scene, as bizarre as it was, and all he could make out were the words “Come with me Joe, we have some digging to do.” As terrifying as the scene was, Joe felt himself invigorated and he gave in to the request. He got up and followed the Farmer into the light, but not forgetting to grab his indestructible gloves and stuck them in his back pockets. It was on like Donkey Kong!

Next time – Part I – DIG

Until then …

This was a super busy weekend (Communion practice, baseball games, birthday parties, charity walk) so there wasn’t a lot of time to spend outside. Although with the temperatures in the low 90’s on Saturday and Sunday and a huge rain storm on Sunday night, this wasn’t really the weekend to hang with the plants.

But, that doesn’t stop me from my daily trips around the yard to check in on my little buddies to see how they are coming along. Here is some of what I found:         

The Viburnum Plicatum ‘Shoshoni’ is in full bloom and smells phenomenal. While my attempts to relocate the other one that was right next to this one failed miserably (RIP), I must admit that these look much better as a specimen shrub in a foundation planting.
 

You know by now that I can’t get enough of peonies so you will have to put up with yet another shot of them. As usual and as expected (cause they’re tough as nails) here come the numerous blooms. I think one of these years I am going to start a peony blooming party where we all drink to our hearts content and just stare at the buds until they bloom.
 

OK one more … couldn’t resist with the rain drops on them. 

The Campanula ‘Joan Elliot’ (isn’t that the lead singer of Def Leppard … never mind) is blooming profusely although here they are weighed down a bit from all the rain. Still … gotta love that color!

The Ninebark ‘Summer Wine’ is filled with buds and should be in full bloom by the end of the week. While the blooms are beautiful, I really like the shape of this shrub and the way the branches cascade to the ground. It has become a true focal point in the bed next to the deck.

The Crabapple ‘Prairie Fire’ has finally stopped blooming but I love the color of the new foliage early in the season. Soon come the berries.  

Wow John it’s a …. a …. leaves growing on a shrub … how stimulating. Well, this just happens to be the final plant to show signs of new growth so to me “oh cynical one” this symbolizes that the garden has fully arrived. By the way, if you still care, it is a Clethra ‘Hummingbird’.   

And now the bad. This hydrangea has numerous leaves that have turned brown and look like they are crisping (my technical term) and dying. It is definitely not from a lack of water as we’ve had plenty of rain. It does get a bit more sun than is typically recommended, but that has not been a problem in the past. Help!!  

More dead-ness. Could it possibly be the close to freezing temps we had about a week ago? I did not see any signs of critters either. 

Now we are getting personal and I’m ready to go all Rambo on whatever is messing with my Knockout roses. I saw no signs of anything underneath the leaf and it hasn’t completely taken over … yet. It’s bad enough with the Japanese Beetles later in the season. Can’t I enjoy these with nice foliage like everyone else does?    

And finally today, this is what you see at the entrance to the house from my back deck. Do the words make sense? Not really. Does it effectively keep the monsters out of our house? Like a charm. My four year old daughter is on to something. Maybe we should patent it now. Seeing things like this while outside and fretting over plants makes it all a lot easier to take.

Another busy week ahead and the goal outside is a very simple one. Remove every weed by hand and get the beds in tip top shape.

Until next time my friends.