I work in the “corporate world” and holy crap do we love buzz words. In fact, it may be the most entertaining part of my job. Each and every week a new word or phrase appears out of the blue and each one is better than the next (sarcastically speaking). I’ve considered doing some extensive research into the origin of many of these words/phrases but I get too annoyed along the way to dedicate that much time.

Some of my personal favorites:

We must account for the various swim lanes as we create our timeline. 

Let’s make sure we apply our best practice 

This is a large undertaking, we don’t need to boil the ocean here. 

I ask that we leverage our best practices on that project.  

Hi John, I know the meeting will run until 11:00, but I have a hard stop at 10:45. 

I realize this is a complex task, but let’s take care of the low hanging fruit first.

After comparing the two documents, can you identify the delta? 

Seriously, can we not use the word “differences” any more? Does “delta” give you more street cred?

I could go on and on but you get the point.

There is, however, one additional buzzword phrase that holds a special place in my heart – Elevator Speech. I heard the term during my very first day on a new job back in 2002 and I still cringe when I think back on it.

An elevator speech is a brief, persuasive pitch that you use to spark interest in what your organization does. You can also use it to create interest in a project, idea, or product – or in yourself. A good elevator pitch should last no longer than a short elevator ride of 20 to 30 seconds, hence the name. 

Simple enough, right? The concept is easy to grasp but what I missed/misinterpreted was that you don’t actually recite it word for word while on an elevator. Literal much John?

We were all asked to create our own elevator speech as it related to our department. I pieced together an awful attempt and had it semi-memorized. I anticipated being quizzed along the way and walked around in a state of stress. If I don’t nail this I’m doomed.

It sounds dumb now, but I made sure to never take the elevator at work. I imagined a moment when someone would pop out of the corner on the elevator, Candid Camera style and yell “Elevator speech, go!” I would then panic and embarrass myself in front of all of the other elevator riders. I remember the night sweats like it was yesterday.

Fast forward to today and I’m at ease with the idea of an elevator speech. Not that I could rattle one off at a moment’s notice, but I do now ride the elevator without fear. Nothing stresses this grizzled veteran any longer.

I spent this past Saturday at a “Stop the PennEast Pipeline” booth at our local Community Day. It was my first foray into the road show circuit that has been touring for over a year now.

To say I was impressed is an understatement. I would dare anyone to approach the tent and not walk away in a fit of anger and bewilderment. The blown up maps alone stopped me in my tracks – the blast zone that impacts the entire township is terrifying. Not to mention the imminent potential  negative impact on our sole source of drinking water.

Early in the day, I spent a good part of my time listening in on the more seasoned presenters and how they approached each visitor. While I’ve become educated in a short period of time, these people have been there from day one and they know their stuff.

My thought was to soak it all in and get good at it as quickly as possible.

And that is when the “elevator speech” concept popped into my head. Without fully realizing it, I had one. While I never cared to pull one together in the past, this one was easy. It rolled of the tongue.

Allow me to test it out:

A private company can invoke eminent domain on preserved lands funded in good part by landowner taxes (of which Hunterdon County is 10th highest in the nation).

The pipeline company pays no taxes to the impacted townships. 

Even non directly impacted landowners in affected townships will see their taxes raised and a reduction in their home/property values. 

The federal government has never turned down a pipeline application.

Because we live in a “rural” area, the pipe used is of a significantly lesser quality.

A renowned scientist has called the soil in our specific area “an arsenic hotspot”. By the way, everyone gets their water from a personal well.

Over 30 C1 level streams will be crossed by the pipeline and will put a number of endangered species in grave danger.

Only 30% of NJ landowners have allowed survey access which is lower than in any other pipeline fight.  

I clocked it in at 33 seconds. May have to scale it back a bit.

What do you think? Can it be more effective?

I used it quite a bit on Saturday (though not as effectively as my counterparts) and it led to a huge outpouring of support from those either unaware of the pipeline or not as up to speed on its potential impact. We had an incredibly productive day with more of the same planned in the near future.

Color this non-supporter of the pipeline as encouraged.

Speaking of encouraged, we’ve been contacting our local representatives (email/standard mail/tweets/etc) with a fervor of late and it has paid off. Take a look at this tweet below.

PennEast pipeline path presents ‘significant concerns,’ N.J. congressman says | http://t.co/Rhh4P1d67R http://t.co/O2mKzUkdQ1

— Rep. Leonard Lance (@RepLanceNJ7) September 19, 2015

The big boys are stepping in and that can only be a good thing. Hopefully others will soon join the effort.  As a group, we continue to pound away at making everyone aware of this horrifically planned project and I find tweeting it gives the biggest bang for the buck.  

Hey @PennEastLine stay out of #NJ and our unique and precious preserved land #EndPennEast @FERC $SE $SJI $SO $NJR $UGI $PEG #PennEast — john markowski (@jmarkowski0) September 16, 2015

 
This battle may be only in its infant stage but we’re ready and equipped to see the denial come to fruition. They messed with the wrong crew and underestimated the power of the people.

Stay the f out of Jersey PennEast.