You may be under the impression that I’m on always on top of things, a hard worker and task oriented. If you feel that way, I apologize for the false representation.

So not me.

Yes, I am known around town as “always in my garden” and “usually filthy from head to toe, wearing a weird t-shirt whenever I see him” but that doesn’t mean I work “smart” or that I’m the least bit useful or resourceful when dealing with anything other than plants.

Exhibit A (And this will no doubt be a common theme moving forward with my daily garden photos or DGP):

My homemade means to ensure that Mia doesn’t escape off the deck and run away from home.

In my defense, it’s an easy solution. Move a few deck chairs and boom, instant gate. But, not the most appealing view from inside or outside the house. And yes, if people come over, I’m shit out of luck.

We did order a custom gate a few years back but it wasn’t wide enough to be attached between the two posts. Would a normal human figure out a way to rig it up and make it work? I don’t know, you tell me. I’d estimate 35% of people could pull that off buy maybe I’m underestimating the general public. Maybe I’m even worse than I imagine. What would you do?

And don’t tell me we should train the dog to not leave the deck without any blockage. We’ve tried and it’s too dangerous. She turns savage when on the loose. Our wonderful little rescue has escaped many times and it’s an hour of hell trying to track her down and pray she doesn’t get hit by a car.

Oh wait, she did get hit by a car.

On Christmas Eve when she escaped from my sister’s house.

And the nutty little mutt, stood up, shook it off and went about her way like nothing happened. We lost about ten years on our lives and she had nothing to show other than a tiny scratch on her snout. She hasn’t been loose since, and if I have to pile up nine chairs to ensure her safety, I’ll do it.

Sorry for the digression. My point for today: Yes I’m lazy and not handy. But if you need someone to weed your entire property in the humidity of summer, I’m your man.