The Obsessive Neurotic Gardener

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Posted on July 17, 2012 by jmarkowski Posted in Uncategorized .
My struggles to maintain my sanity while gardening are well documented and something I have to consciously  work on. Yes, gardening is supposed to be a relaxing and therapeutic escape but I tend to take it way too seriously and with too much intensity. Strange, but true.
So in an effort to stay calm and “go with the flow”, I’ve developed a new psychological tool that I am considering pursuing a copyright on. I’m calling it the “Old me vs New me 5000” (no significance to the number, just sounds more prominent). And here is how it works.
I’ll take a look at an old garden photo and first write how the “old me” would describe it. Then after that, I’ll write how the new and improved “new me” sees that same photo. Hopefully putting it in to words will have the impact I am expecting. 

It might not stick, but hell it’s worth a shot, right?

Here we go with the inaugural effort:
              

Old me: “I wait all spring and summer for the purple coneflower blooms and they last like a friggin day or two.”
New me: “Isn’t the life cycle of a flower fascinating and just like life itself.”

Old me: “Why would I take this photo knowing it was super humid and foggy out in the middle of the day.”
New me: “This shot captures the exact mood at the time it was taken.”

Old me: “The deer ate every last peony bloom so I will know climb into the fetal position for the next week.”
New me: “Without the blooms, you really get to focus on the beautiful glossy foliage of the peony. What a wonderful treat.”

Old me: “Poison ivy right in the middle of my Russian Sage. I’m going to burn the f’er down right now.”
New me: “Some times nature hands us a difficult situation and reminds us that we are not in control.”  

There you have it. I feel better already but also realize I will need to continue with this therapy in order to truly change.

What do you think?

John

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16 Comments
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16 Responses

  1. lemonverbenalady says
    July 18, 2012 at 12:20 am

    Stick with the “Old Me”. Much funnier and real! Although you might find the “New Me” voice eventually, maybe? x Nancy

  2. Miss Holly says
    July 18, 2012 at 2:44 am

    Your so strong………. !!!!!!!!!

  3. danger garden says
    July 18, 2012 at 4:15 am

    I think the new you is full of sh#t….

  4. GardenMom says
    July 18, 2012 at 5:34 am

    Maybe the appropriate reaction on my part is not laughter…but I did have to laugh. I get the same way sometimes about everything being perfect, and I stress over the stuff too much. It’s good you can at least realize this about yourself. Then you can either laugh at yourself or tell the neurotic self to shut up. Thanks for being real though.

  5. Sue says
    July 18, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Um….well…..No. Really. The deer ate every friggin coneflower/rudbeckea in my yard and I am P.O’d royally and I don’t want to be the ONLY one out there throwing a hiss-fit.

  6. allan becker says
    July 18, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Nature has thrown a curve ball at a very passionate gardener. How you deal with those negative issues has come to define your blog site and has given you an original voice. I like the “old me” better.

  7. Katydid says
    July 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

    I think the unbearable heat and drought is causing you to lose it. Get a grip.
    I like the old sarcastic you better.

  8. Bonnie says
    July 18, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Too funny. Oh just go back to the “old me”. Although an occasional old vs. new might be entertaining. Thanks for my morning laugh.

  9. Marcia says
    July 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    There’s something to that new me outlook. I could’ve used it when I spied the window box of impatiens that no longer had impatiens spilling from it. I guess from your new me perspective I should say “oh look how the rabbits have enjoyed the lovely flowering plants. How cute!” But what should I say when I discover the stink bugs attacking my tomatoes?

  10. sharon says
    July 18, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    hahaha….the old you is me…the new you?….Im hearing some massage music….great post!!!! katydid..hilarious…I would have said “dont you just love deer..thank God they had something to eat!”…..LOL dangergarden

  11. Gatsbys Gardens says
    July 18, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    Yikes,

    I think I pulled some of that poison ivy out from between my shasta daisies last week. I thought it looked familiar but before I could stop myself I grabbed it.

    I have had very good luck with the Kim’s Knee High Coneflowers, no browning or rattiness. They are about 24 inches tall and come in pink and red, red being more pinkish.

    Eileen

  12. heather @ new house, new home, new life says
    July 19, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    Your “new me” sound like “perfect blogger talk” to me. I like the old me better – that’s the John we know and love. 🙂 And one of the reasons I like your blog so much – it’s a taste of reality, very informative and fun to read.

  13. Patty says
    July 20, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    I think I agree with everyone – even tho the “new” me may be “politically” correct the “old” me tells it like it is. I’d be thoughly ticked off if some deer ate my peony flowers – altho after a good rant I’d probably say “well the deer have to eat as well”

  14. M says
    July 21, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    We must be kindred spirits. I’m trying to embrace the “new me” thinking, but the “old me” is so ingrained that I can’t get rid of it completely.

  15. Dayna Gayle says
    July 24, 2012 at 12:26 am

    I like it. Go with the flow. The body enjoys a smile.

  16. Janet, The Queen of Seaford says
    July 24, 2012 at 3:03 am

    You are a riot. Will see how long you go with the flow and don’t shake your fist at Mother Nature! (That bitch put poison ivy in your Russian sage)

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