The Obsessive Neurotic Gardener

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Posted on December 9, 2011 by jmarkowski Posted in Uncategorized .
I ask that you actually sing as you read it. It will make it that much more enjoyable/absurd.  
“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a kid who gives a shit about gardening“: 

“On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two sets of cojones so I could shoot the deer on my property”:

“On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, more shrubs with three seasons of interest”

“On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four lessons on how to take photos of interesting birds”:

“On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, fiiiiiiiive … golden … foliaged …. conifers“:  

“On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six more ornamental grasses with vertical interest”:

“On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, seven more days in the week so I can remove all of the lawn from my property”:

“On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight shots of performance enhancing drugs so I can keep up with my mammoth weeds”:

“On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine reminders to stake my larger perennials”:

“On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten extended days of peony bloom time”:

“On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eleven kick ass native plants“:

“On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, twelve months of summer”:

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12 Comments
Tags: Christmas .
« Wordless Wednesday
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12 Responses

  1. Colleen Vanderlinden says
    December 9, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    Ha! This was cute — thanks for the laugh!

  2. Lois Evensen says
    December 10, 2011 at 1:51 am

    Very good! 🙂 I did sing along.

  3. Janet, The Queen of Seaford says
    December 10, 2011 at 3:44 am

    John, you know how to turn a word. What a riot.

  4. Heather says
    December 10, 2011 at 3:59 am

    Awesome. I’d like a longer peony blooming time as well. 🙂

  5. Cloudia says
    December 10, 2011 at 4:07 am

    lovely post!

    Aloha from Waikiki

    Comfort Spiral

    > < } } ( ° >

    ><}}(°>

    < ° ) } } > <

  6. Ms. A says
    December 10, 2011 at 4:17 am

    I may bah humbug Christmas, but your yard is amazing!

  7. Jess says
    December 10, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    haha, all going good but that last one… no cold means no to a lot of plants (tulips, peonies, lilacs, most other bulbs), and extremely hot summers 🙂

  8. Gillian Olson says
    December 10, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    Very good, the twelve months of summer sounds like a great present.

  9. Norma Chang says
    December 11, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    Very cute and creative. I tried to sing along.

  10. Theanne and Baron says
    December 12, 2011 at 12:27 am

    WOW! What a lady your “true love” is, whacha giving her?

  11. Amelia's De-ssert says
    December 12, 2011 at 9:19 am

    Hi John, very creative 12 days of gardening song. Lovely flowers and beautiful picture. Have a nice day.

  12. Nate Armstrong says
    December 12, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    That is a shiz-ton of plants! Looks like you do a pretty good job at staying on top of it all.. and make time to write silly songs! haha. Jk. I enjoyed it.

    Nate Armstrong

Comments are closed.

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