The Obsessive Neurotic Gardener

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Posted on October 6, 2010 by jmarkowski Posted in Uncategorized .

True confession … I watched the the entire Martha Stewart interview on Oprah yesterday.

Hold on, wait, did you hear that noise? That was my credibility jumping in the car and driving away at breakneck speed. Oh well.

Seriously, I watched the interview without any prodding from my wife and I was completely riveted the entire time. I am so fascinated by “Martha” and yesterday’s appearance on Oprah did not disappoint.

 A few of the highlights for me:

  • The fact that she built figurines for a nativity scene while in prison feels like it should be a Saturday Night Live skit.
  • Martha jokingly criticizing Oprah for not visiting her while in prison added a nice level of tension to the interview.
  • Martha claiming she doesn’t need more than a grilled cheese sandwich if you were to invite her over for lunch. And then the next segment was she and Oprah making the most extravagant grilled cheese sandwiches with more choices than you’ll ever see (I swear I saw anchovies on the table).
  • A visit to Martha’s estate in Maine where even though the cameras were rolling, she couldn’t hide her disdain for her staff as she ordered them to make crab sandwiches and make flower arrangements.
  • But the best of all for me was the tutorial on how to fold a fitted sheet. A video is the only way to give this the true comedic value it deserves. Click here for the video. Who would go through the effort to ever do this? Fascinating!

On a long ride home from Virginia this past summer, we spent at least an hour listening to Martha’s radio show on Sirius where she answers questions from callers. Just priceless! Even the kids got the humor that is Martha Stewart and they did a decent job of imitating her voice and annunciations.

I must admit I respect Martha’s drive and will to succeed and appreciate what she has built from the ground up. Her gardens are incredible and she does share tips even I can grasp. But, the comedic value will always outweigh it all for me.

I leave you with a Halloween costume I found on Martha’s website. It is made out of coffee filters. Damn she rules! Click here for it.

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    7 Responses

    1. ~Gardener on Sherlock Street says
      October 6, 2010 at 4:09 pm

      Your post is too funny.
      I saw just parts of her appearance on Oprah. I told my husband (as I pulled sheets out of the dryer last night) that I missed the part where she was going to show how to fold a fitted sheet. I’ll watch it from your link in a bit. Although, we have the best chats while folding sheets together maybe I don’t want to know how to do it by myself. She has a different life indeed. (How “urgent” can a flower arrangement for the front hall be really). I glean tidbits of advice often too.

    2. Rainforest Gardener says
      October 6, 2010 at 4:19 pm

      I have to agree, I love Martha Stewart too, thorns, eccentricities and all. Everyone wants Oprah to promote their book or website, but my goal in life is to have Martha’s approval, since she has the best ideas. Even if they do require a full staff and a couple thousand dollars to execute.

    3. Kyna says
      October 6, 2010 at 11:15 pm

      I’ve seen Martha’s instructions on folding a fitted sheet. And I still can’t manage it. And you know what I say?

      Eff that!

      Martha is pretty amazing, as is her empire. Not many people can go to prison, get out and nothing has changed except you’re even richer.

    4. Shirley says
      October 7, 2010 at 12:53 am

      You have to admire her accomplishments and her attitude. She doesn’t let things set her back but, instead, learns and grows from them. That is one thing everyone can appreciate.

      Have you seen her old Christmas specials? I’m talking the 90’s here. Those were the best.

    5. Stephanie says
      October 7, 2010 at 4:46 am

      I am a fan of MS also 😀 I love to watch her show. It’s broadcast here on our local TV once a week.

    6. The Idiot Gardener says
      October 7, 2010 at 7:58 am

      Martha who? I am going to have to catch up on his woman; she’s just too good to ignore.

    7. Kimberly says
      October 7, 2010 at 9:32 am

      This post cracks me up!! I have to admit, though, I fold my fitted sheets the same way. BUT…I never knew there was a “way” to do it. I call it “tuck and hide”…that’s all it really is. And seriously, does Martha actually think we iron our bed sheets? I’ve never and really don’t plan on it. This is a bit over the top…humorous and entertaining, as you point out so well. She certainly has made quite a living off of magnifying the extremely simple, hasn’t she?

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