After spending a number of mornings removing sections of lawn using nothing but a dull shovel and then carting it away in a wheel barrow with an almost flat tire, I felt like I was competing in a strong man contest. In fact, I started to grunt out loud just to make it feel like an authentic competition. As the week progressed, I’ve even had to up the amount of HGH I am injecting into my leg each night.

So it got me thinking, could there be a Gardening Olympic Games? You sure as hell bet there could be. The possibilities are limitless and I think with enough of a grassroots effort we could realize this within the next few years. Below are a few of the ideas I’ve come up with and as always, I welcome your ideas and feedback:

• Weed pulling – This was an obvious choice. No tools would be allowed and no gloves could be worn either. Scoring would be based not only on speed but accuracy – there would need to be proof that the majority of the roots were pulled up. The weeds in question would vary and would be vastly different since the competition would be held in different regions with varying topography.

• Transplanting races – Competitors would race against each other transplanting the same shrub to a similar location. Again, time and speed would be a key measurement but what will make these games unique is that the actual winners would be determined over the course of time. The shrubs relocated would be evaluated at a later date to determine which one was performing better.

• Obstacle course planting – Competitors will be physically and mentally challenged and then asked to plant a tree. The physical torture might include running through tunnels and over walls. The mental torture might include the release of snakes or spiders nearby, a la Fear Factor. After all that, the individuals will need to remember all the key points while planting a tree. Speed is important but  accuracy is the key component.

• Plant identification – Each competitor is given a number of plant tags and then has to match them with the appropriate plant. Easy enough you say? Well, similar cultivars will make it more difficult for proper identification and the tags need to be fully submerged into the plant, and I don’t know about you, but trying to get those tags back into the soil is never easy for me.

• Garden design relay – Each team will have three members. Each individual will work in an empty garden bed with a large group of plants, shrubs, perennials still in their pots. Each member will design the bed by moving the pots around until they are happy with the configuration. Once they are done, they tag their next teammate who then does the same in their garden bed and so on until all are completed. While time will impact the final score, it is ultimately up to the judges (who will be comprised of 3 of the top garden designers in the world) who will score each bed on a scale of 1-100. I don’t know about you, but this would give me fits as I am never satisfied when trying to come up with the right look

That is all for now.I will need to tweak these a bit to get them just right and to develop the scoring system. You laugh at me, but you watch, one day you will look back and remember when I first pitched the idea.

Be on the lookout for my next idea to be put into the development phase – a gardening reality show.

Ciao