Late last night, as I was taking the dog for a walk in the deep fog, this phallic creature below greeted me at the bottom of my front stairs.

My first thought was that I was about to be attacked by a snake so I took the proper precautions and shoved the dog in front of me so she could take the brunt of the attack. But there was no movement so I was able to calm down a bit.

I then got closer to the creature and the smell became overwhelming. It was like feces flavored …. feces. No lie, it was awful and that is coming from someone with a deviated septum.

I eventually figured out it was some type of mushroom (hence the post title) and waited until early this morning to take a photo. And with the wonders of Google, quickly learned what I had on my hands (and nose). It is a Stinkhorn mushroom, specifically a “dog Stinkhorn”. Now the best part, I found this information on a website dedicated to phallic mushrooms in New Jersey and the name of the website is (insert childlike chuckle here) www.richard-seaman.com. You can’t make this stuff up!

Some other factoids:

• Falls under the family Phallaceae (also known as Stinkhorn)
• Notorious for popping up very quickly, usually in urban areas 
• Found all over the world but most common in tropical areas
• If in non tropical areas, believed to be due to transportation of soil, wood chips,etc.
• Known for their spore masses smelling like, you guessed it, “dung”
• Not harmful to people or animals

May smell like death, but what a cool discovery. I am now more educated on mushrooms and fear not if you see one of these emerge in your yard overnight.   
           

I ran through a number of Sunday themed songs when trying to come up with the title for this post.

“Sunday Bloody Sunday” by U2? Little too violent and political for today’s mood

“Lazing On A Sunday afternoon” by Queen? Fantastic song, their best album, but nope.

“Sunday Morning” by No Doubt? Eh, not mellow enough for me.

Lyrically, not perfect, but with the title and overall vibe, The Commodore’s, 1977 number one hit, “Easy” (like Sunday Morning) wins. Wanna join the laid back party vibe? Click here and play the song while you read this.

Pot of coffee on, big ass mug in hand, sauntered outside to enjoy the new and improved stone driveway

Ilex meservae ‘Blue Princess’ has successfully been impregnated by a nearby ‘Blue Prince’ as we are also on to a second set of flowering. 

Strolled through the back of the yard near the woods to enjoy the weeds … I mean wildflowers.

Enjoy your “Manic Monday”.
ONG 

“Do as I say not as I do.”

I find myself saying this to my kids all the time. Well maybe not EXACTLY that way. More like, “Listen you little dope, I’m 38, your 8, and I know more than you do. I can eat cookies on the couch, you unfortunately cannot. Vamanos!” (Yes, an intentional Dora the Explorer reference).

This fun little saying (which by the way dates back to the late 1600’s), unfortunately applies to a lot of my so called gardening “skills”. Today’s example has to do with cutting back perennials for height control. I kid you not, I have an Excel spreadsheet with detailed instructions for each and every perennial I own. I am great at sharing this knowledge with my friends and family but guess how many of these “rules” I followed this year? A whopping 0.0. In most cases it works out OK but there are a few examples where this has gone awry.

Exhibit A your honor:          

I have three of these planted, two were decimated by the monarch caterpillars (with my blessing of course) but this one exploded within the past few weeks and the blooms have toppled over. 

Exhibit B:

I knew these needed to be cut back by half in June but nope, didn’t do it. They held up well for a while but then reached a height of about four feet and boom, they toppled on to the neighboring Miscanthus.  

Exhibit C:

Should have cut them back by a third or even a half in June or at least have pinched the new shoots throughout the Spring. Again, nope, nada. 

I have made a conscious effort to add more and more native plants and because they perform so well in their native and preferred locale, I really need to stay on top of these during the growing season.

Another gardening lesson learned.

Ciao
ONG 

Note to self – after visiting ridiculously sweet gardens for three days, prepare yourself for the mother of all let downs when you get home. 

My gardens are LAME, or at least I can’t get that thought out of my head after visiting numerous gardens in Dallas last weekend. I feel like I committed infidelity and I can’t look my own gardens directly in the eye. They can tell I’ve changed and they are walking on egg shells around me. They can smell the nectar on my shirts and I think they have footage of me sticking a dollar bill in the soil around a Limelight Hydrangea. I wouldn’t call it a one night stand, really more like a weekend fling, but I will deny deny until I die.

OK, seriously, add in the fact that Fall has arrived and my gardens look like … um … there is a scientific name for it … oh yeah … crap. There are phrases bouncing in my head as I try to sleep each night:

Plant in greater drifts
Add more and different containers into the beds
Focal points
Get more creative
Structure, structure, structure

Interesting note – I had to make the list above an odd number or else the shaking wouldn’t stop. OCD or good garden design principle?     

Anyway, the garden design mess is for me to work out. I now give you photos from my tours and I won’t even bother with any comments, the pictures describe it all. Enjoy.