Some people count sheep.


Some listen to soft soothing music. 


Others drink warm milk.


Me … I analyze an open spot in the garden and determine what I will plant there when I wake up the next day.

I often have a hard time falling asleep at night. And it is completely self induced. In fact, I enjoy the inability to sleep, it is truly a chance to let the brain run it’s course while everyone else is out cold. And here’s the kicker, I drink a half pot of caffeinated coffee every night after the kids are asleep. You say “dumb”, I say “this is where my genius is born”.    

Last night was no exception. Here is what I obsessed over while the rest of the world slept:

As you can see in the photos above, I have an open spot behind the Siberian iris, the carex and the dwarf variegated miscanthus. And here is a snapshot of the thoughts that ran through my over-caffeinated cranium:

• Like the amateur designer that you are, why do you have three similarly shaped plants together in the same spot?
• Should I move them now? Or leave until Spring?
• If they stay, you need something evergreen in that spot.
• And something deer resistant.
• And able to handle wet feet at times since the water drains off of the driveway.
• Nothing fits any of that criteria and you’re dumb to stress over it.
• Can’t you make better use of this time to analyze something important?

And if that weren’t enough, here is another site that was ripe for more of my over analysis:

And more rambling sleep deprived thoughts:

• An open prominent spot right next to the garage needs some serious attention.
• Having a single holly, a single arborvitae, a single clethra and a single barberry all together; I’m thinking they do not teach that to wanna be designers.
• With self deprecation now complete, you know you need a massed perennial in that spot, preferably something upright to off set the rounded shape of the nearby shrubs.
• Maybe I can divide more of the Siberian irises … no too late in the season for that.
• Maybe some of my beloved smaller ornamental grasses … nah … need some full season floral interest there.
• Maybe some daylilies … nope … the deer will dine on them.
• Here we go again dumb ass … you’ve created a quandary with no easy solution.
• Can my wife hear me? Am I talking out loud? Am I really this neurotic?

Needless to say, nothing has been resolved even after a long period of analysis. Guess there is always tonight to revisit it again.

Good times indeed!
ONG     

One of the benefits of writing this blog is that it forces me to do some research on a topic before I submit the post. While I some times revel in my failures or lack of understanding, I also like to think I may be able to educate some of you based on real experiences I’ve had. I’ve gained incredible knowledge in the process and you may even respect me a bit after reading. We’ll call it a “win, win”.

I wandered the yard late yesterday afternoon, camera in hand, and found some things I hadn’t noticed before.

I was moving some mulch and soil around for a potential planting spot and was greeted by some familiar creatures:    

White grubs! These are usually discovered when they destroy the roots of the lawn but I found these just chilling in the garden bed. There were quite a few in a two foot square area but I didn’t notice any others nearby. I’ll hold off for now on doing anything about it. Maybe throw a prayer in there as well. Best option seems to be releasing predatory nematodes to counter these bastards but that seems too involved for me. And I will not use any insecticides. More to come.

Not too far away from grubville was a big patch of fungi I’ve noticed before but always ignored since it didn’t seem to do any damage.
     

Brought up Google and determined these to be “bird’s nest” fungi. They look like little nests with tiny eggs inside. They are commonly found in wet mulch or wood piles and from all indications, do not bring on any harm. No sweat and it’s pretty cool to now know the true name. I can’t wait to identify this for someone else and be all smug about it.

OK, your science lesson is now complete. On to some other photos I snapped during my late afternoon jaunt:

True confession … I watched the the entire Martha Stewart interview on Oprah yesterday.

Hold on, wait, did you hear that noise? That was my credibility jumping in the car and driving away at breakneck speed. Oh well.

Seriously, I watched the interview without any prodding from my wife and I was completely riveted the entire time. I am so fascinated by “Martha” and yesterday’s appearance on Oprah did not disappoint.

 A few of the highlights for me:

• The fact that she built figurines for a nativity scene while in prison feels like it should be a Saturday Night Live skit.
• Martha jokingly criticizing Oprah for not visiting her while in prison added a nice level of tension to the interview.
• Martha claiming she doesn’t need more than a grilled cheese sandwich if you were to invite her over for lunch. And then the next segment was she and Oprah making the most extravagant grilled cheese sandwiches with more choices than you’ll ever see (I swear I saw anchovies on the table).
• A visit to Martha’s estate in Maine where even though the cameras were rolling, she couldn’t hide her disdain for her staff as she ordered them to make crab sandwiches and make flower arrangements.
• But the best of all for me was the tutorial on how to fold a fitted sheet. A video is the only way to give this the true comedic value it deserves. Click here for the video. Who would go through the effort to ever do this? Fascinating!

On a long ride home from Virginia this past summer, we spent at least an hour listening to Martha’s radio show on Sirius where she answers questions from callers. Just priceless! Even the kids got the humor that is Martha Stewart and they did a decent job of imitating her voice and annunciations.

I must admit I respect Martha’s drive and will to succeed and appreciate what she has built from the ground up. Her gardens are incredible and she does share tips even I can grasp. But, the comedic value will always outweigh it all for me.

I leave you with a Halloween costume I found on Martha’s website. It is made out of coffee filters. Damn she rules! Click here for it.

ONG       

It is bittersweet, but just like super group Wilson Phillips sang, I hope these blooms can “Hang on for one more day”.

First, let me extend a formal greeting:

OK good, now that we have that out of the way, let me tell you what is on my mind today (not EVERYTHING on my mind, won’t bore you with my new found obsessive TV show – Sister Wives – which deals with polygamy).

Yes, the autumn colors are beautiful and the weather is so pleasantly cool, blah blah blah   

But I am more focused on the impending months of doom here in zone 6B New Jersey, otherwise known as November through March. The 5 months where the gardens shut down and so do I. That is 5/12 of the year where I can’t tinker around outside.

On the bright side, I am happy with the progress I’ve made this year with certain garden beds:   

But, I still need to tinker some more with others and add some much needed late fall and winter interest.

Here are some examples of gardens with great winter interest:

I truly enjoy watching perennials and deciduous shrubs mature and take on different attributes through the spring, summer and fall. But, my ultimate goal is to create each garden bed with more of a balance. I really want to give them all at least some level of interest through all of the seasons. It is still a work in progress and it is easy to forget during the spring and summer, but it will be a definite focus of mine as we head into the “off season”.

ONG               

Late last night, as I was taking the dog for a walk in the deep fog, this phallic creature below greeted me at the bottom of my front stairs.

My first thought was that I was about to be attacked by a snake so I took the proper precautions and shoved the dog in front of me so she could take the brunt of the attack. But there was no movement so I was able to calm down a bit.

I then got closer to the creature and the smell became overwhelming. It was like feces flavored …. feces. No lie, it was awful and that is coming from someone with a deviated septum.

I eventually figured out it was some type of mushroom (hence the post title) and waited until early this morning to take a photo. And with the wonders of Google, quickly learned what I had on my hands (and nose). It is a Stinkhorn mushroom, specifically a “dog Stinkhorn”. Now the best part, I found this information on a website dedicated to phallic mushrooms in New Jersey and the name of the website is (insert childlike chuckle here) www.richard-seaman.com. You can’t make this stuff up!

Some other factoids:

• Falls under the family Phallaceae (also known as Stinkhorn)
• Notorious for popping up very quickly, usually in urban areas 
• Found all over the world but most common in tropical areas
• If in non tropical areas, believed to be due to transportation of soil, wood chips,etc.
• Known for their spore masses smelling like, you guessed it, “dung”
• Not harmful to people or animals

May smell like death, but what a cool discovery. I am now more educated on mushrooms and fear not if you see one of these emerge in your yard overnight.   
           

I ran through a number of Sunday themed songs when trying to come up with the title for this post.

“Sunday Bloody Sunday” by U2? Little too violent and political for today’s mood

“Lazing On A Sunday afternoon” by Queen? Fantastic song, their best album, but nope.

“Sunday Morning” by No Doubt? Eh, not mellow enough for me.

Lyrically, not perfect, but with the title and overall vibe, The Commodore’s, 1977 number one hit, “Easy” (like Sunday Morning) wins. Wanna join the laid back party vibe? Click here and play the song while you read this.

Pot of coffee on, big ass mug in hand, sauntered outside to enjoy the new and improved stone driveway

Ilex meservae ‘Blue Princess’ has successfully been impregnated by a nearby ‘Blue Prince’ as we are also on to a second set of flowering. 

Strolled through the back of the yard near the woods to enjoy the weeds … I mean wildflowers.

Enjoy your “Manic Monday”.
ONG