The Obsessive Neurotic Gardener

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Sitting in the therapist’s chair

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Do I post too often?

Am I not serious enough when I post?

Are my photos even interesting?

What is my motivation for posting?

Am I too concerned with the number of hits?

Will I eventually run out of things to write about?

I have undergone some blogger self-analyzation over the past few days and these are just some of the questions I have asked myself. It has been almost three months since I started my blog, and I am starting to see a pattern develop with how and what I post.

*Quick ADD side note – I am finding it difficult to write in nice long, descriptive paragraphs as I could back in the college days (quick shout out to TSC). The corporate world has forced me to write in quick bullets; capitalization and punctuation be damned.

Back on topic – I can break down my posts into three different categories and they always follow the same pattern. Here goes:

Let me show you what I know about plants and garden design
This is my chance to try and show off and develop credibility. I’ll throw out Latin names of plants and the specific cultivar names. I will also use design terms like “focal point”, “contrast” and “structure” to prove I can maybe hang with the big boys and girls. These posts typically do not include many photos. Once these posts are completed, I start to wonder if I am taking it all too seriously. After all, I dubbed myself ONG for god’s sake. This feeling will then lead to the next type of post.

I am different from those serious gardeners; I am witty and wacky; please read and laugh
The humor and wackiness is part of my personality and how I carry myself. I honestly write how I speak. It feels good when I write this type of blog entry. At a minimum, it makes me laugh. I’ll even throw in inside jokes for purposes of making only one person crack up. Once these posts are completed I pay closer attention to the number of hits and comments received. If it is slower than expected, I start to worry that I lost people. Maybe my humor is interpreted incorrectly. Maybe you just ain’t that funny homeboy. Then I get the itch to make up for it with …

The almost all photo entry with a mix of knowledge and humor
This is the middle ground for the two previous post types. The photos prove I actually own plants and gives me a chance to throw out a quick blurb that proves I know more than the average person. I can also add a touch of humor to show I haven’t gone completely serious on you. I then wonder if my many photos of barely emerging foliage and still dormant plants are not all that interesting so I resort back to (you guessed it) the first post-type above. The cycle is officially complete.

I am not sure what this cycle of posts really means but I will probably follow it to some degree for the foreseeable future. It’s me and to tell you the truth, I like it. It is like exploring different aspects of my personality and it feels therapeutic.

In my current job, self expression does not exist (just the nature of the job, don’t get angry fellow co-workers!) so this feels like a good outlet for me.

If I end up posting nearly every day or every-other-day, so be it.

If I want to over-analyze the number of hits and study the analytics, so be it.

This shit is fun, yo!

DigTheDirt.com

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Once again, the fantastically cool as hell people at Digthedirt.com have allowed me to write a “contribution” for their web site. It can be found here:

http://www.digthedirt.com/contributions/3461-Planning-Shmanning

But seriously folks, take the time to fully check this site out. There is such a cool and relaxed vibe and it is full of incredible information. I have already learned a ton from all of the gardeners there and befriended some really great people. I guarantee you will really enjoy it.

  
Peace y’all     

Perfect weekend

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If I had to define the perfect weather weekend (gardening wise that is), I would ask for the lower 70’s and sunny on both Friday and Saturday and then a steady light rain on Sunday. Well what a friggin coincidence, that just happens to be what we got here in the Garden State this weekend. This allowed me to comfortably transplant just about every plant I own on Friday/Saturday and then watch them get a nice watering on a lazy rainy Sunday.

Just to give you a taste of my transplant mania, here is a chronological play by play rundown of all that I moved/planted (you know you need to see this):

  • Chelone Glabra (3) moved to new location where they could have their feet covered by other plants.
  • Crimson Pygmy Barberry moved from partial sun to full sun spot vacated by Chelone.
  • 2 Other Crimson Pygmy dug out and tossed (not a real fan of these any longer and may soon fully eradicate them all – plus the whole invasive thing).
  • Hypericum moved into the spot vacated by the Barberry.
  • 2 Chasmanthium Latifolium (Northern Sea Oats) moved to be reunited with 3 other Sea Oats. Really wanted to have these all together in one large mass.
  • Panicum relocated about 3 feet away from it’s original location. Still haven’t figured out why I moved it but made sense at the time.
  • Amsonia moved about a foot so it wouldn’t grow into a Viburnum.
  • Viburnum attempted to be relocated, but unfortunately had to be hacked with a chain saw and the roots dug out with a shale bar. That little effort took 2 hours and 4 hand gashes later it was in the wheel barrow and off to the compost bin.
  • Hydrangea moved about three feet to help make up for the deceased Viburnum.
  • Ornamental grass moved to spot vacated by Viburnum.
  • Daylily moved just cause it looked better that way.

Am I happy with the results of all this nonsensical transplanting? Yes and no. But I’ve already bored you enough to get into the details.

Some rainy day photos to close out this post:

Rain on the Daylilly

Rain drop trapped in Sedum rosette

Nepeta (Catmint) bud. These are all coming on strong. 

Campanula bud really about to burst.
Everything is really starting to hit it’s stride.
Hydrangea foliage has just exploded the past few days.
Kale has started to take it’s typical shape and the leaves taste good already.
The deer pruning on the Euonymus was successful. The new foliage looks better than ever.   
Lettuce looks good and tastes good already. I dogged a ton of the tiny seedlings while thinning out this container.  
Thank you again for surviving another posting. It is super appreciated and I can’t believe you did it. 
ONG 

Taking photos and rhyming

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Yes, I am posting photos once again.

But here is the twist – I will drop some dope rhymes about each photo that will get your booty shaking, educate and inspire you at the same time. Quite a challenge you say? I say DJ ONG is ready to tear it up:

Campanula buds always make my heart swoon, keep ’em deadheaded and you gotz sweet flowers through the end of June. 

Ants on the peony- no better sign of Spring, while the blooms may be fleeting they are worthy of a King. 

Here comes da Siberian Iris – so reliable if water’s provided, imagine tripling your collection – after they’ve easily been divided. 

Yo yo – what is that – it’s a EU-PA-TOR-I-UM, you need it for the foliage alone, unless you a garden bum.  
Itea Henry’s Garnet, loves my moist soil – the red Fall color alone is the perfect garden foil.
You say this Carex is ugly, I say it’s unique, it’s cultivar name is Cappucinno, waiter, please don’t make mine too weak.
Astilbe and Potentilla, this combo was an unexpected surprise, contrast is a beautiful thing in the garden, most pleasing to the eyes. 

You call it a weed, I’ll call it a flower, dandelions are everywhere but let’s embrace their power. 

The gardening term “leggy” is personified here, the Ilex ‘Shamrock’ is on it’s way out, to the compost bin, have no fear.   

Who is that, oh no I say, who invited you – leave here now and I will spare you a swift kick from my shoe.
Happy Earth day! I promise you no caterpillars were hurt at any time during the creation of this post.     

Gardening is friggin hard

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Recently, while sitting in my car stopped at a traffic light, I glanced at the Boston Market on my left, specifically, the so-called landscaping that surrounded the place. Three different shrubs were all that were used for the “landscaping”. There were two different Barberry and a Spirea. All had grown into each other and were sheared into round balls.

After I threw up in my mouth a bit, I started getting this feeling of being part of the garden elite. Some samples of the conversation I had with myself:
  • “Everyone knows to avoid any shrub/plant you see planted at a fast food restaurant. They are so incredibly boring and common.”
  • “How dare they shear shrubs like that and not let them grown into their natural shape.”
  • “I know so much more about plants and design than these so-called landscapers.”
  • “My yard is so much more diverse and interesting. I should become a professional and show them how it is really done.”
And then I went home and pulled into the driveway. And cried (just go with the drama I’m trying to portray here). For as much as I claim to know about gardening and the so-called design rules, my yard ain’t all that grand.
I am fairly confident that I could hold my own on Plant Jeopardy and could talk a good game when it comes to the principles of design. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I even have a huge Microsoft Excel document that includes every plant I own or had previously owned and every factoid about those plants. I reference it often and constantly update as I am doing my daily googling.
But when it comes to putting it all together out in the field (pun intended) it just doesn’t seem to work as planned more often than not. I am no better than the landscapers I critique so often (well I won’t got that far … but you get the point). What sounds good on paper really is difficult to translate into the dirt. I have been thinking long and hard about why this is true and here are some of the reasons I’ve come up with so far:
Differing plant maturities – when it comes to design planning I tend to think about all of the plants at their ultimate mature size. In the long run this would seem to make the most sense, but man is it hard to remain patient and wait for that. Obviously all plants grow at different rates and grow differently depending on a number of factors (sun exposure, soil quality, etc) so getting to that ultimate size is a complex journey.
Plant size – this point ties into the first one but my point here is more about plant availability and cost. The boom of buying plants on the internet has been fantastic as we all can purchase plants we know we will never see in our local nursery. However, with the logistics of shipping these plants, it is either impossible to find large enough specimens or if they do exist, it can be very costly. I lean towards the smaller inexpensive plants as I do enjoy watching the growth progress over the course of time. It just adds to the difficulty when planning your garden design.
Boredom leads to over-analyzing – some times all it takes for me is a simple harmless walk through the garden to get some new big idea on how things can be re-arranged. It may require me to move five shrubs and relocate 10 perennials, but once it is in my head – GAME OVER. I will obsess on it until I am knee deep in the middle of the transformation and then I almost forget why I thought of it in the first place. Each year I plan to create new beds from scratch and expand my gardens, but I never am able to quite finish off the existing ones.  
I am sure I could come up with other reasons but I must admit I already feel better than I did when I started writing this. Funny that there can be such ups and downs in such a simple pleasure like gardening. After all, isn’t it supposed to take you away from life’s true ups and downs – a means for escape? After reading this you may think my answer would be an emphatic “no”, but you would be wrong silly reader. I enjoy this gardening thing even more when I am frustrated and unhappy with my results. That is what leads to the enlightenment.
Disclosure – my apologies if the previous two sentences did not make any sense. I have been analyzing Lost for too long.

Namaste!

Screening out the neighbors

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As I had mentioned in a previous post, I just started working with my brother-in-law on landscaping his property and for purposes of this post I wanted to discuss using shrubs/trees for screening purposes. Below are two photos of the areas we are looking to plant a screening in their backyard.   

As you can see, the neighbors are right on top of them so screening is a vital part of this project.

Here are the details:

  • Zone 6
  • Typical NJ clay soil
  • Would classify both areas as partial sun
  • They plan on living here for another 3-5 years

Now my thoughts:

  • I think a mix of evergreen and deciduous shrubs is the best bet to keep it interesting.
  • We should purchase larger specimens for more immediate impact since they do not plan on living there long term and will help with re-sale.
  • The shrubs/trees need to be relatively narrow (no more than 4 to 5 feet wide) so as not to impede movement in the backyard.
  • Ideally would like to add smaller perennials/annuals underneath the screening to make sure it doesn’t just look like a bunch of shrubs lined up like soldiers. 

Here is where I struggle a bit – plant selection. What I am leaning towards for now:

  • Ilex (Hollies) – they do well in our acidic soil, are evergreen, have Winter interest and are readily available.
  • Deciduous shrubs with contrasting foliage color – I’m thinking a Ninebark like ‘Diablo’ or a Weigela like ‘Summer Wine’ since they can also be pruned for size if necessary.
  • Conifers for contrasting texture although larger sized options are expensive.
  • Larger upright Ornamental Grasses just cause they are all sorts of awesome.

That’s what I got right now. I still need to draw up a more formal version of the plan but this is where I plead for your feedback since I have to see these people a lot and I cannot have them hating on me.

Thank you and good night.                  

Photo-less musings

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As has been my ritual for the past few weeks, I walked outside tonight with the camera in tow ready to snap photos that I could then upload to this blog. A funny thing happened though … I almost immediately put the camera down and just roamed the property. I had forgotten one of the greatest pleasures in life (at least mine  that is) … walking through the gardens, flip flops on, beverage in hand (Sierra Pale Ale) and just looked over the day’s progress on all of the trees, shrubs and perennials. It was like Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul (intentionally hokey) and it felt good. New foliage never looks more crisp and clear and colorful as it does early in the growing season. While I love the Summer and the infusion of flowers, typically the plant foliage will look washed out and you need to stay on top of the watering. This time of year brings about promise of what is to come and pushes what has been in the rear view mirror and I want to soak it all in.

Another thing I love about this time of year is the arrival of the plants purchased over the Winter. When those boxes are opened and the plants are given a chance to breathe, the possibilities are endless and I haven’t had a chance to mess things up yet. The design hat is put on and the next few days after the plants have been delivered are spent sketching out plans and imagining what can be moved where and it all comes together like a giant puzzle … until I change my mind again. Chasing that imaginary perfect design is invigorating and frustrating but never dull and I wouldn’t want it to be any different.

One last thought for the night. Social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc) is often maligned and often for good reason, but I can’t say enough about how friggin cool it is when it comes to finding people who have a similar interest all over the world. Selfishly, I cannot wait to read the comments I’ve received on a blog entry and to see them come from the UK, Canada, Croatia or California is really awesome (searched for a better word than awesome but couldn’t come up with one). Reading other blog entries and seeing photos of plants I could never dream of growing is still exciting and always educational. I don’t know when “blogger’s block” will strike me as I’m sure it is inevitable, but for now I am in this 100 percent and don’t plan on slowing down.                              

Strawberry–Goat Cheese Bruschetta

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Mrs. ONG here.

Well, I was going to wait until official strawberry season (here in Zone 6) to post the recipe but seeing that it’s forecasted to be summery here this Easter weekend, I present:

Strawberry –Goat Cheese Bruschetta

This is an adaptation of a recipe originally printed in Better Homes & Gardens magazine

This is my favorite kind of recipe—it’s super easy to prepare (really it’s more assembling than cooking), it’s delicious, it’s a crowd pleaser and it’s good looking, too!

Ingredients:
1 8-oz baguette
1-2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1 4-oz log goat cheese/chevre
1 ½ cups sliced strawberries*
½ cup arugula, optional (although I love arugula, I don’t use it in this recipe)
Coarse salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Fresh thyme leaves

Preparation:
1.    Heat broiler. Halve baguette length-wise. Place cut sides up on a large, rimmed baking sheet. Brush the cut sides with olive oil. Broil 3-4 inches from heat source, for 1-2 minutes or until lightly toasted.
2.    Slice goat cheese and divide among toasts. Top with sliced strawberries. Return to broiler for an additional 2-3 minutes, until cheese and berries soften. Remove from broiler, top with arugula, if using. Drizzle with additional olive oil, sprinkle salt, pepper and thyme. Cut into pieces and ENJOY. Makes 4 servings.

Perfect on the deck or patio, with drink in hand!

*whenever possible, try to use organic strawberries as they are high on the list of fruits and vegetables that carry the highest level of pesticides: http://www.foodnews.org/

Staying positive

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A change of direction for today’s entry. Mr. Negative has taken the day off and his sidekick, Mr. It’s All Good, will take a shot at this blogging thing.    

In light of yet another pounding rainstorm and subsequent flooding, I am going to think happy thoughts and focus on that. And since I have forgotten how to write in full sentences and in paragraph form (be happy you get capitalization), here are my thoughts for the day:

I can’t wait to pick fresh strawberries out on my own deck and have my wife turn them into strawberry and goat cheese bruschetta. It is KILLER and I beg you to try it.

I can’t wait to see the Peony buds covered in ants. I honestly enjoy the buds more than the flowers. To quote Carly Simon and Heinz Ketchup – it’s the anticipation.

I can’t wait to take my first shovel full of self made compost. It’s been a long time coming.

I can’t wait for the boxes to arrive with everything I ordered on-line in the Winter. I purposely try to forget to enhance the surprise … OK I’m lying … everything ordered has already been added to my monstrous Excel spreadsheet.

I can’t wait to cut my lawn for the first time – if only for that cut grass smell and to be able to add the cut grass to the compost bins.

I can’t wait to change my mind on every plant’s location.

I can’t wait to use the hummingbird feeder my wife got me for Christmas.

I can’t wait to work outside all day, get a head rush whenever I bend over, realize I have Poison Ivy, have filthy fingernails, and then take a shower.

I can’t wait to take a trip to the nursery during lunch and locate a few new plants I know nothing about. Then google said plants when I get back to work to see if they will work for me. If they work, then obsess where they will go, how many do I need and when I will purchase them.

I can’t wait to deadhead the daylillies religiously each day.  

I can’t wait for my daughter to view the blooming flowers from the playroom and then ask me if she can go outside and smell them.

I can’t wait for my son to be terrified of the bees and try to sell him on why they are beneficial and our friends

I can’t wait to re-read “The Well Tended Perennial Garden” for the 97th time.

I can’t wait to scour all of the stores for the summer sales for all of their dying plants and then attempt to revive them.

I can’t wait for the ornamental grasses to take shape and lend that structure/texture to the beds.

I can’t wait to divide even more perennials in the late summer and squeeze them in wherever I can find room. 

I can’t wait to document all that goes on in the gardens and share it with you.

I can’t wait to get additional comments from all of you. The comments to date have way exceeded what I thought I would ever get and I promise you they are all read and added to my memory bank.

Thank you.                         

Guest post – DigTheDirt.com