The Obsessive Neurotic Gardener

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I don’t want to garden any more. I’m done.

What is supposed to be a nice relaxing “hobby” or diversion from real life is making me insane. I never stop analyzing how things look and what I love one day, I’m ready to uproot and move the next. Maybe it’s time to take up knitting or scrap booking or even stamp collecting as my new pastime.

And who gets this crazy over gardening? It’s not like I’m entering my gardens in contests or growing food that can actually be eaten by my family. It’s mostly ornamentals that are just supposed to look nice together. An extension of the home if you will. Instead, I treat it like it’s more important than the troubled economy. I should just be happy that anything grows successfully at all considering my poor growing conditions. If a few plants look nice together, be happy and move on. Not this schmuck.

Little background – I worked like mad to get my garden beds to look “complete” the past few weeks. This included weeding, mulching and filling in any open spots that were available. I planned it out well and chose plants that would work where they were to be placed. I got it all done and was happy … for like 3 minutes. As I walked around the yard like an inspector the past week or so, clipboard in hand, I began to question everything I had put together. What I thought looked good together only a week ago, now seemed “eh”. Here’s a sampling of my deranged thought process:

I love Purple Coneflowers and Russian Sage. Great combo with the contrasting bloom colors and flower shapes:

But when I take a step back and look at the bed as a whole, it seems distracting. Too many contrasting colors and textures. I really need to cut down on the number of different plants I use and focus more on increasing the number of plants used together:

Tradescantia (Spiderwort) ‘Sweet Kate’ really works considering my growing conditions:

But not when placed so close to daylillies with similar foliage:

Here is a combo of Spirea ‘Goldmound’ and Calamagrostis (Feather Reed Grass) ‘Karl Foerster’. Doesn’t inspire me all that much:
But just a month or two ago, I liked the combo when the spirea was a much more vivid yellow. Do I accept that it looked OK then but doesn’t do much as the summer rolls on? Find another pairing? Everything can’t look perfect all the time, right?:

I like the pairing of Hydrangea ‘Endless Summer’ and Physocarpus (Ninebark) ‘Diablo’ … but wouldn’t it look even better with blue blooms? Time to up the acidity:

OK fine, I like Eupatorium (Joe Pye Weed) ‘Gateway’ and Miscanthus ‘Morning Light’ and don’t plan on changing it any time soon. But this is the exception rather than the norm:

Who in their right mind would add this purple leaved annual to a red container? It pains me to look at this. What the hell was my thought process when planning this (Bowing my head in shame):   

This Asclepias incarnata (Swamp Milkweed) is growing like mad but it’s hiding the Itea (Virginia Sweetspire) ‘Henry’s Garnet’ behind it. I’ve read milkweed doesn’t take to transplanting very well but this is eating away at me like mad:  

I continue to struggle with what to match up with this. What colors and textures work well with dead plants? Would love your thoughts. Ideally, it would frame the deadness of this plant and really let it shine:

Bitch session complete and I feel better.

John

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22 Responses

  1. I happen to think all of your flowers and plantings look beautiful. If you take the time to admire the flowers in their natural states, you may notice they don’t care which plants they are next to and they still look lovely. Maybe it’s time to just take a little break and enjoy the fruits of your labor?

  3. Sorry, but I like what you have put together. Read Piet Oudolf’s Book Designing With Plants and you will feel better about your gut feel gardening. He does not believe in masses of one type of plant, or the three, five rule, etc.

    I love the coneflower oombo that whispy feeling.

    Eileen

  4. You just crack me up every time! I think it’s because our critical minds are too similar. Just remember that others do not see your gardens the way you do. Does that make you feel better?

  5. I think we ALL do this. I don’t think you would be normal if you DIDN’T question what you’ve done. It’s what keeps gardening fresh and interesting. Now, go move a plant!

  7. As a retired landscape architect with more than forty years under my belt I see only two problems. One your perceptions given how you show them off,and your younger years.
    When I look at your pictures I see not only what is before me but also what it is yet to be. Do your self one great favor, think about your garden not so much the way they are now, but will be.
    One gem that I know will help you immensely is to frame your gardens in the same way we carefully frame a fine painting. When the weather cools down just a bit, head to the garden center and buy a crescent shaped edging tool and edge all your beds. For some this comes as a challenge, even in the beginning years ago for me it was, back then I would lay out the garden hose in an effort to develop the slow moving lines that not only separate lawn from garden,these (edges)lines add movement to your beds by forcing you to look further as such while you walk around the house you will see all the beds as one.
    Take one step out onto the far reaches of the lawn and look back at the house and all your beds, they should appear as one unit, Once you edge deeply and with continues movement the beds and house will appear as one with that simple often overlook edge bringing it all together

  8. Yikes…I think maybe you and I could share therapy sessions! I’m much the same…I start re-thinking plantings almost the minute I’m done! I think the mix of Echinacea, Perovskia and others is almost perfect…I don’t think it’s too busy at all…I think you have just enough of each plant for impact and balance.

  9. All I can say is, welcome to the club. I think all gardeners do this to some extent simply because the garden is never perfect for very long. There are so many variables and elements at play. The older I get, and the longer I garden, the more mellow I’m getting about the need for perfection. And the fact that the season is over so quickly, I just want to enjoy it as much as I can, not fret over things that aren’t exactly how I want them. But I totally get where you’re coming from. It’s frustrating for sure. I think gardeners have to be a little bit nuts.

  11. Well well well. Welcome to the the wonderful world of hobby gardening. Be positive. Gardening is a learning process, that never ends. I use to do a lot of painting as in art but I found that gardening is way more creative especially because the “painting” keeps changing unlike with oils! One learns to be patient and go with the flow. It can test one’s patience a lot! Yet it is a great hobby that pushes the brain as you have found out with what works with what, then find out oops, now it doesn’t. Move fun than a game show! I developed my so called “principles of design” which came out of my own experiences like you posted today. I think they make sense. You might find some of them helpful for your state of mind today! They were posted from November 14, 2010 onward for a number of postings. I covered many of the issues you now write about. After those principles are read then go to the “Golden Principle of Design” and you will see the key to making a garden look good. I think you are already moving in that direction. But, look at the others first to get the right perspective on it all. Will check in with you again – for sure. Jack

  12. There’s nothing wrong with your garden. View the asclepias from the other side of the bed. Maybe you need to put more thought into your combos before you jump in and plant.

    Mr. Harry’s advice above is excellent. Look at the whole framed picture. Plants grow, areas change. If you want perfection, building and painting model airplanes or a similar static hobby might be for you.

  13. I think all you need with the russian sage / cone flower combo is a tall, grey green, thick leaved flax, like a Phormium. I don’t know if you can get them, or they grow where you are, but going on what you have in the garden I say it would. You need something twice the height of the sage that links the colours but contrasts in texture. Perhaps there is too much of a similar foliage texture going on…

  16. I am so sorry for these plants, maybe you should go to some experienced gardeners for advice. They can always put forward some new and helpful ideas. You’d better not give up so easily. Though I myself is not a prof. in gardening, I think it may be for the reason that you are giving to much nutritions, I don’t know whether this judgement can stand on its foot, but if there is no better opinions, you can at least have a try, right? Greetings from China, Wish you and your plants a nice day!

  17. You will be surprised how forgiving it all is when the plants mature and fill in. The strict pairings don’t matter at all when you have lush, full, close-together plants all working together. You’ll see the whole, not the plant pairs sitting as individuals.

    Except the purple foliage in the maroon pot, that has to go.

    Right now your plants are at the pre teen stage and you know how awkward that is.

  18. I recently pulled up an entire giant planting of rudbeckia triloba because it was making me insane. It wanted constant water and had taken over a patch of Goldsturm to the point that it all died. So I just ripped it all up. It felt wonderful! Your russina sage/coneflower area is out of balance but not because you need more of one plant. The shrubs in the back are too short and the yellow flowered plants in the front look like they would do well if you cut them back a bit so they grew bushier. Try this: ask yourself how you want that area to make you feel. Do you need color? texture? wildlife? Are you trying to create a meadow? But like Harry said maybe it just needs time and patience. BTW – don’t be so hard on yourself. Plant what makes you happy not what sells overpriced magazines.

  20. I think your blooms and foliage all look wonderful, but that’s because I love cottage gardens but maybe that’s not the look you are going for. I think the purple plant (can’t think of it’s name at the moment) looks great in that red pot. The leaf edges pick up the red color in the pot, at least that’s how it looks to me in my monitor.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve done and are doing a fantastic job. Take a walk around without your clipboard, and a less critical eye. Take a step back, a deep breath and enjoy the beauty you have created there around your home.

    Happy Summer Gardening,

    FlowerLady

  22. This makes me laugh. I am a new gardener and my best friend, who is an expert, recently said: “You’re taking this all so personally.” (Like every plant that does not thrive or grow the way I hoped for is a personal insult.) And I say, YES. Yes, I do. Don’t know why. But yeah, blogging is cheaper — and I suspect more fun — than the couch. I will continue to enjoy reading about your neurosis!

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