I don’t know what everyone is moaning and bitching about.

Waaahhh, it’s the middle of autumn and all the flowers are gone.

Waaahhh, all the birds and bees are gone.

If you just took the time to amend your soil, properly prune your perennials and deadhead religiously, your yard could look like it does in early summer.

Just look at my zone 6 garden photos from today in the latest Wordless Wednesday entry. Enjoy.      

I started writing this blog on a whim back in February as a means to document all that I do in my gardens. I had no preconceived notion as to where it was going and never mapped out where I wanted it to go. It was a harmless venture and a chance to show my friends and family that I actually knew what I was talking about when it came to plants and gardening. I also welcomed the chance to make them laugh.

It took a while, but eventually I figured out how to promote it to other gardeners. The thrill of reading those first comments will never leave me. They were inspiring, educational, warm and most of all, they energized me in a way I never anticipated.

Where am I going with this based on the title of the post? Allan Becker was one of those early readers who left comments and inspired me. He was obviously super educated in all things gardening and the fact that he took the time to read my nonsense and comment on it meant so much. His comments were heartfelt, full of great information and a sort of “push” to continue doing what I was doing. He has managed to stick along for the ride and finally one day recently, the idea hit me. Ask Allan to write a guest post here.

Well, he has graciously agreed to do so but before I get to that, a few words on Allan.

Allan Becker is a professional garden designer out of Montreal, Canada. He has been doing so since the 1960’s (sorry about the age reveal!) and today oversees the work of his young apprentices, passing on his knowledge to them all.

Allan blogs at http://allanbecker-gardenguru.squarespace.com/. I have been an avid reader of his site the past year and can tell you it is not to be missed. In fact, I’m sure you are reading it already but had to pass on to you all in case you were not reading it. Allan’s writing reminds me of a mentor sharing information in a humble way, knowing he enjoys passing on his years of experience to his readers. My favorite post of his to date, can be found by clicking here. It covers the argument of garden bloggers giving out advice and the role of garden bloggers as a whole.                     

One last comment before his guest post. I never expected Allan to write what he did below. I was not looking for any “props”. After reading the post, it really opened my eyes to the psychology behind my own blog and the approach I take to writing it. The post put a big old smile on my face this morning and I hope you enjoy it.              

Express Yourself!      
Allan Becker

Three mentors inspired me to garden. I met them all in the summer of my 17th birthday. That was the year that my parents moved my brother and I to a new home surrounded by many empty flower beds. The arrival of a new family on the street kindled some curiosity among the neighbors but most of it came from three gentlemen who were anxious to know what we intended to do with the empty beds.

My father had no interest in ornamental gardening. He wanted only to grow tomatoes and cucumbers. It surprised me that I was the far more willing participant in the neighbors’ zeal to fill our bed with flowers. It also fascinated me that, although the three men were not friends, they shared common traits. All were successful, hard working businessmen with a preference for gardening over golf; and all had children who did not demonstrate interest in their fathers’ hobbies. Each man was eager to invite me into his particular horticultural world and all of them were generous with the time they devoted to me. One neighbor, whose specialty was hardy perennials, taught me how to propagate plants. The second, wild about compost, instilled in me a love for richly amended soil. The third was a British émigré who introduced roses into our limited perennial assortment to create English-style gardens.

Although the three men shared a passion for gardening, none were able to express how they felt. This non-occurrence took place during the early 1960’s. Anyone who has been following the TV series Mad Men understands that, back then, men did not have a vocabulary for expressing how they felt about anything. Well, almost anything. We sure knew how to scream and bellow when our favorite athlete scored a goal or a touchdown. However, verbalizing a passion for gardening was not an integral part of any man’s lexicon. After all, this was a time when ecstatic public expressions were reserved for pre-teen girls watching Elvis Presley gyrate on television.

Nevertheless, any one paying close attention would notice that when these men spoke about gardening, their eyes would widen, their voices would quiver and wide grins would stretch across their faces. Unfortunately, while they were very successful in transmitting their gardening fervor to me, they were poor role models for teaching me how to communicate that enthusiasm to others. After all, how might a 17 year old boy reveal that his passion for gardening was almost as strong as his love for his girl friend?

Years later, when I began to blog about gardening, I discovered that I was handicapped, compare to most other writers. I had not yet found a comfortable way to describe how I felt without sounding over the top. Consequently, I avoided writing about how gardening touched me, deep inside. To communicate my emotions when describing plants, I resorted to using multiple adjectives, to stretching the boundaries of hyperbole, and to milking metaphors. And then, one day I discovered Jon Markowski’s blog and garden writing has never been the same for me.

It’s not important if John does or does not speak that way in every day life. What counts is that the ONG’s dialogue is an effective literary device. Where I live, his is a colloquial language usually spoken by an oafish, yet lovable television character that one only meets while watching a sit-com or reality show. I presume that in the actual world, people who do speak that way usually revert to proper English when they write. But not John’s ONG. This character stays in character in order to communicate with humorous, but powerful, feelings.

The way I see it, John has created a very endearing character who has given him the framework in which to express his own intense enthusiasm for gardening, without sounding sappy. He is realistic without being over dramatic. Instead of hyperbole or metaphors, we read humorous dialogue. The message is delivered by a stereotype who, in mainstream culture, is the most unlikely person in the world to ever take up gardening. Yet, this character says it like it is. There is no misunderstanding the passion about gardening that he delivers.

With the very first post that I read, the ONG disarmed me by demonstrating that it is possible to wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve without attracting ridicule. His honesty became a powerful drug for me, and now I eagerly check my Reader, every day, looking for his newest blog. In the end, I have become more candid when writing my own postings. A warmer, friendlier style is trying to emerge from my keyboard and when it does, I enjoy every liberating moment.

Coincidentally, John discovered my blog, as well. Eventually, he wrote some nice things about me. Attached to his words has been the noun mentor. I am profoundly moved by this honor because I never set out to earn it and doubt that I have ever before deserved it. What an ironic situation this has turned out to be. I have been gardening for at least 50 years longer than John; I’ll bet that I am old enough to be his father. Yet, in the art of expressing one’s passion about gardening, unashamedly and with candor, I am proud to reveal that, unknown to him, John has become my mentor. And this has occurred in cyberspace between two people who have never met and have never spoken. As the persona of the ONG might say, “Go figure!”

I pride myself on being quite the cynic. It is in my blood and I view the world through cynically colored glasses.

So, we set off a week ago for the “happiest place on Earth” “where dreams come true”

I was prepared to put my critic’s hat on and see right through all of the positivity nonsense. I imagined taking a swing at one of the character’s when no one was looking. Or maybe throwing a rock at one of the dolls on the Small World ride. But then I sipped the “kool-aid” and my perspective began to change.

We arrived at our hotel and the kids immediately changed into their Halloween costumes.

We then headed out to Downtown Disney, via a scenic riverboat ride, and the kids were beginning to grasp the scale of it all. It was a special moment to watch. Maybe I can remain cynical but enjoy Disney through their eyes.

    

It was a bit chaotic but how can you complain when the kids are scoring chocolate from the Ghirardelli store.

We were up the next morning at the crack of dawn so we could make it to Magic Kingdom for the pomp and circumstance of their park opening. My thought, “Holy %$^&, this is going to be a rough week if we are going to keep up this pace.” We arrived on schedule and the place was all decked out Halloween style.     

Fine, it was an impressive display. And that is when I started to grasp the immense attention to detail Disney prides itself on.

I should inform you now that my wife had this trip planned out and researched like nothing I’ve ever seen. From the hotel choice, transportation throughout the week, lunch and dinner choices, which rides were the best and which were overrated, which shows to attend when and which parks to attend on which days. But the absolute greatest decision of all, was to rent a double stroller.      

I was hesitant to put my 8 year old son in a stroller as it seemed a bit “soft” but that absolutely saved us. The kids were never wiped out and it was easy to keep an eye on them at all times. We may have battle wounds from pushing it around all week but if they weren’t complaining, it was a good time for all.

We hit up all the rides     

I forgot how much I enjoyed roller coasters and fast rides. I have to admit I “felt like a kid again” and it was a great father/son bonding experience lying to my son that the rides weren’t that fast or that scary. I look forward to watching my son lie to his son. 

I always found the Disney characters to be overrated and silly. It is just a bunch of lazy kids who don’t want to get a real job and are secretly harboring resentment against the world as they run around with those fake smiles on. But then I saw my daughter’s excitement when she saw her favorite character, Minnie Mouse, and all those thoughts were set aside.

I

We hit up Epcot another day and did the tour of all the “countries”. Initially, I scoffed at these fake countries as a weak imitation of the real thing. But again, I got sucked in and enjoyed the hell out of it.
 

Food from all over the world and public drinking? I am so there. The food was off the charts but I must admit we enjoyed the non food portion the most. 

Halfway through the tour, we got hit with a deluge of rain so we had to cut it short. Maybe that is a good thing. A drunk adult at Disney isn’t a pretty sight. Plus, more of a reason to go back, sans children, in the future.

Another day was a stop at Animal Kingdom which had the most character of all the Disney parks (is it possible to say anything in Disney had “character”?)

The safari tour there was incredible and all of the animals were out in full effect.    

Our final night was fireworks at the Magic Kingdom which, as expected, were above and beyond anything we’ve seen before.  

It was all over and I would do it all over again, except eating another Disney inspired dessert

Looking back, there were three things that stood out for me:

1. The attention to detail  – from the characters on the rides, to the way the lines were mapped out was unbelievable. They truly have thought of everything.
2. Customer service – simply world class and even for all of us cynics out there, you can’t deny how enjoyable they make every facet of your experience.
3. Family – we managed to spend an entire week together without losing our minds. The kids have memories they will cherish forever and their ages couldn’t be more perfect than they are now. I would love to push the “pause” button now and not let them age any further.

And just to prove that my wife and I actually spent some time together during the trip, I give you visual proof of both of us.    

Thanks for reading through this long read!
ONG

That title really is a misnomer, it should be a Mrs. ONG Halloween. Truth be told, I don’t do a damn thing to prepare for, or during the actual day of Halloween.

I may help the kids cross the street while trick or treating and I may help the kids make fair trades with each other once they have collected all their candy on Halloween night. Other than that, not much more from me.

This year we started a tradition of a Halloween dinner for the kids. It starts with a viewing of the legendary and never matched “The Great Pumpkin” 

The house is decked out Halloween style, some stuff purchased, some of the kids stuff (with only the best making the cut; some times they make crap, let’s not pull punches here).   

Then there is the dinner:

My wife claims it was no big deal and promises bigger and better next year. The kids loved it and I may have loved it even more. Kids don’t forget days like this.

I attempted (key word is attempted) to set up the next event, the pumpkin carving. I figured we would lay out a few blankets in the garage, get some garbage bags, get our carving tools and we would be in business. Here is how it went:

• Blanket unfurled and covered in stink bugs.
• My first attempt to cut off the top of the pumpkin resulted in an incredibly uneven line and I basically cut the poor guy in half.
• Kids get bored because, let’s face it, they can’t really carve unless we make the proper plans for an emergency room visit.
• They knock down tools in the garage while bored, we yell, they want to help more, we say no, they go inside and my wife and I are responsible to complete the task.

We eventually got through it, lit some candles inside the pumpkins, cleaned up and called it a night. The only good photo I could manage was this one:
           

My wife did that one and also carved a bat in another. They looked good.

Mine. Not so much. Pay close attention to the top of the pumpkin, I can’t even hide how poorly I carved the top. A sad, sad effort indeed. 

Happy Halloween
ONG

I’ve written about my neuroses when it comes to garden design and how I find myself rarely satisfied. Maybe “rarely satisfied” isn’t an accurate term. I think, like most gardeners, I just enjoy the challenge of trying to find a more pleasing combination or the excitement of trying something new. It is what makes gardening what it is – an incredibly rewarding and frustrating process – but never dull.

And sometimes, a simple addition or re-arrangement can keep me going for a long time. Case in point, the photo below is an area near my garage, an area I pass by every time I get home from work:

A recent addition of three Acorus gramineus ‘Oborozuki’ (oh how I loved typing that) or sweet flag, just makes me happy when I see it each day. I can’t describe why I love it so much, I just do. I’ll want to change it or add more in the future, but for now, I am digging it. A simple pleasure that gardening gives me each day.

Speaking of simple pleasures, when the kids get along and just do “kid things”, that’s also a pretty damn simple pleasure.      

We’ve got water!

And I’ve canceled my plan to rent out our kids to the highest bidder to pay for it.

Turns out we had a hole inside the water tank and it ultimately shorted out the electrical connection to the pump. I’ll spare you all the mechanical details, not because it is boring, but because I’ll butcher it to the point of personal embarrassment. Oh yeah, I also learned a shower is very underrated.

My initial concern with the water issue was that I didn’t do something I should have to keep up with the proper maintenance. Turns out the answer was “no” so I felt relieved. But, the experience did get me into “proactive” mode knowing I need to develop a much more robust maintenance schedule throughout the house. And that can be an effort when this stuff doesn’t come naturally to you. In fact, I bet one day it will be determined that there is a “home improvement” gene and that over the years that gene has escaped from my family bloodlines.

Of course it is much easier for me to relate to outdoors “maintenance” so I analyzed my preventative efforts there and realized there were none. Seriously, I have never sprayed or fertilized a plant. EVER.

And that also includes the lawn.

Maybe I’ve fertilized an annual in a container but that’s it. Isn’t that a good thing? I was “green” before it became all the rage. I’ve read up on fertilizer and it’s real role in plant development and was never that impressed enough to bother.

To my credit (can’t say that often), I am a smart waterer (sp?). I stick my finger into the soil around every plant before I water, never water overhead getting the foliage wet and promoting disease and do my best to water early in the morning. 

Now that doesn’t excuse me from not using natural options. That is where the lazy part comes in. This is the first year I’ve actually composted with a real effort. My motto for the past six years has been, I’ll give a plant one shot to survive my harsh conditions and if they don’t cut it, off with their heads. Is that smart and a means to keep things simple? I don’t know, but I will make a concerted effort this winter to educate myself and we’ll see what the spring will bring.

What are your thoughts on fertilizer, preventative spraying,etc?       

This was the quintessential autumn weekend.

With the autumn foliage at it’s peak, we headed down to the Delaware River and “attempted” to take the kids photos for this year’s Christmas cards. They could have cared less and protested most of the way, but we got a few nice shots we can work with. 

I also managed to take a few non kid photos:

With the cooler weather and some actual rain, the lawn actually looks presentable:

We had a nice relaxing Sunday morning with nowhere to go (woo hoo), and that meant time for large consumption of coffee (and yes I do drink it black):    

The house was all decked out for Halloween:

My son  and I played a heated game of indoor basketball (I kicked his ass of course)

 

My incredibly creative daughter was “playing” as only she can:

Even Casey was relaxed and enjoying the casualness of the day:

It was autumn perfection … and then my wife called downstairs, “Hey John, funny little thing happened, I ran out of water completely while in the shower.” SON OF A %$&^!!!

And with that, everything changed. I ran down to the basement in a panic, hoping that just maybe, there was a simple explanation. Not a chance.

I am still covered in salt residue, smell like death and the kids are on a no poop alert. The well company is  coming early in the morning and hopefully there will be a simple and cheap explanation for it.

We’ll see.      

I am completely consumed with the show “Hoarders” and the complexity behind the “disease”. There is some serious psychology behind people who hoard and I find it utterly fascinating. While watching the show, I start out disgusted with these affected individuals, then become furious that they have affected their families along the way. The emotion then turns to one of sympathy as each layer is pulled back on their psyches.         

OK, where am I going with this? Right where you think I’m going, just not in such a serious manner. This box arrived yesterday and it kicked off a thought in my head immediately.

Another plant delivery had arrived and I ain’t got the slightest idea where any of these plants will be going. Not to mention, we are nearing the end of October and it may not be such a good idea to try and get these in the ground now. But who cares about all that, I got me a whole bunch of grasses at $2.99 a pop. How do you turn that down?

And then it hit, am I a “plant hoarder”? Is it the thrill of the purchase and hitting “submit” on the web site that gets me off? Is it fulfilling a need now that the gardening season is drawing to a close? Should I contact TLC or HGTV and pitch a new reality show?

I then decided to explore my potential disease a bit further.

Do I purchase plants and then forget about them? Um, yes, like these in my garage from the past spring          

Do I use my raised bed as a holding ground for plants I can’t find a place for rather than as a chance to grow plants not suited for my soil. Um, yes again 

Do I place random plants in containers and then hide them from public view. Um, a big fat yes.

Do I purchase plants cheap knowing they do not fit any of the cultural conditions required, stick them in a pot and try to sell them as a part of a Halloween vignette? Uh oh    

Guilty as charged on all accounts.

But, I quickly justified it all after deeper analysis:

• While some plants may never see the light of day, those that do provide an educational experience. Buying them cheap and and therefore small allows me the chance to watch the growing process and these plants usually out do their fully grown/forced nursery counter parts.
• Last time I checked, having extra plants in the garage or mixed throughout the yard never hurt anybody or created deep psychological wounds.
• Hoarding small, cheap plants allows me the opportunity to experiment with plants I can’t find in the local nursery and with a minimal investment.
• Most of the plants I hoard are from native plant sales and they tend to recover well if they are neglected for a while. And you can’t go wrong going native.
• Hoarding plants takes up a lot of time and keeps me off the dangerous streets and out of trouble. 

So with that, my name is John Markowski, and I am a plant hoarder … and frickin proud of it.                   

The writer’s block is gone and thank you for all of your comments on the last post. They truly meant a lot to me.

I hope it didn’t come off like “Boo hoo, I have nothing for my blog, woe is me, life is over.” I just really felt uninspired at the time as it had been “guns a blazing” since the inception of this little project. I knew it would happen, know it will happen again, but I ain’t stoppin any time soon. This is too much fun.

So, my mindset today was one of appreciation of all that I have as I wandered the premises. I thought, I’ll share these feelings with you all, because my narcissistic brain told me, you all care so deeply.

Onward …

I am happy to have discovered the awesome yellow foliage and love of wet soil sweet flag and carex enjoy.