I’ve been married to my wife for over 17 years now and we dated 5 years prior to that. We kind of know everything about each other … or so I thought.

I spent a good part of Saturday finally planting most of the plants I have had laying around the past few weeks.

Two Aconitum napellus (Monkshood):

Three Actaea simplex (Bugbane) ‘Black Negligee’:

An Andropogon gerardii (Big Bluestem) ‘Red October’:

Three more Amsonia hubrichtii:

Two Molinia (Moor Grass) ‘Cordoba’:

Completed the trifecta now that I have Joe Pye Weed ‘Baby Joe’ (also have ‘Little Joe’ and ‘Gateway’):

But enough about me. This is about my wife’s dirty little secret.

As I was lost in my world of digging holes, my wife stealthily made her way outside. I naively assumed she was just enjoying my handiwork or smelling the newly blooming lilacs. If that was the case though, why was she wearing disposable gloves and why was she carrying an extra large garbage bag? I snuck up closer and took position where she couldn’t see me. Once there, I studied her face and immediately noticed the unabashed determination. Girlfriend was on a mission. Was she going to remove all of my plants in a fit of anger? What the hell did I forget to do?

But once I saw exactly where she was headed, I knew what was going on. The woman I fell in love with 22 years ago was on a mission to remove poison ivy. I fell to my knees and cried with joy. I knew she had secretly tested her allergicness to the poison ivy a day or two earlier and was now in the clear. I can’t go near the stuff and it is literally taking over our gardens. My wife was ready to change that and holy crap did she attack it with gusto.

I literally heard her grunt as she pulled out the roots and nothing was going to stop her. The expletives flew out of her mouth as she looked like the anchor on a tug of war. This Russian Sage was about to be devoured and I was hopeless to do anything about it.

A few hundred pulls later and it was all cleared (RIP Perovskia):          

All of the poison ivy infiltrating the Nepeta (Catmint), friggin gone:

All in all, I would say 90% of the poison ivy has been eradicated and the garden has never looked better! My wife kicked ass and she knew it. She had a grin on her face like she just won a UFC bout.

I’m thinking about putting mini flags wherever I find signs of the vine in the future just to make it easier … OK, maybe I shouldn’t push it.

After the gargantuan effort, my wife deserved a chance to chill out and put her feet up. But no rest for the weary. Soon after we returned indoors, my wife whipped this up, spinach salad with strawberries, toasted pecans and goat cheese:    

Soon followed by brown sugar coated salmon:

Sigh …