January is THE time to start planning for the upcoming garden season and as I’ve learned over the past few years, is also a great time to start dreaming up “out there” blog concepts.

Now I know what you’re muttering to yourself already; this is the same guy who has failed to deliver on so many “big ideas” in the last three years since he started this blog. He can’t be friggin serious.

Yes, I have mastered the art of “over promising and under delivering” and yes, I am setting myself up to fail yet again. But maybe, just maybe, one of the ideas I am about to present to you will actually stick. Maybe it will take the gardening world by storm and you can say you were there during its infancy stage. You can’t take the risk and NOT read through the high brow concepts below.

So here are some things I am considering adding to this blog in the next few months. They have been well thought out and presented to test audiences up and down the East Coast and feedback has been nothing but stellar to date.

Enjoy:                  

Combine my love of beer drinking and gardening in an educational and informative way
Here’s the idea: Kick off the post introducing my “beer of the week” (which by the way I am writing already with a bunch of friends on another blog – “Beer of the Week”). I love me some IPA’s (India Pale Ale) and each week I’ll educate my readers on what new beer I am sampling and thoroughly enjoying.

So I am a complete beer snob and this is where the gardening twist comes in. I take the old, crappy beer I have rotting away in a refrigerator in my garage, and add that to my compost pile each week knowing that old skunked beer is compost worthy. It will all be very ceremonious as I carefully and excitedly dump the bad brew and let it make a difference before it is put out of its misery.    

Start my personal gardening documentary and have my daughter film and narrate it
I am imagining a short film documenting my struggles with poor soil and hungry deer and now is the time to start capturing those struggles. I have been known to heave a shale bar across the yard like a javelin, challenge deer to a karate like duel:

or simply give up and lay in the dirt for hours on end. That needs to be on film so others who share the same frustrations can take comfort in knowing they are not alone. My own personal PSA if you will.

And who better to capture it than my 7 year old daughter:

She has mastered the use of the video capabilities on the iPad, has the sensibility of like a 30 year old and she is my blood. I am confident she could provide her own witty commentary and impart her ever developing sarcasm. And hopefully, it will one day influence her to seek out great soil when she purchases her first home.            

Document lawn removal  
I hate cutting the lawn and all the precious time it takes away from me and my plants. I have a little over two acres of property and it takes me about an hour and a half to cut the lawn each week.

That sucks. While I have made decent progress removing turf over the past few years to make room for more plants, the job is nowhere near complete.

I am imagining documenting what lawn has been removed on a regular basis and then measuring how much lawn cutting time was saved as a result of removing said lawn. That saved time is then used for actual gardening tasks like … weeding:

I hope by carefully measuring this, it will motivate me to make serious strides on the lawn removal front. That is a damn good thing. The environment will thank me as well.

Good karma.           

Track beard growth
This is simply pure comedy. I have been trying to grow a “real” beard since I was 17 years old and have never been able to do so. It is maddening because I think I really need one. It just feels right, even if it is shoddy at best. Ask any of my friends and family and they’ll tell you I am always in the midst of growing a beard. There is usually about a 2 day window where I get the scruffy look nailed down but then it all falls apart. All I’m left with is a fabulous “neckbeard”

So now I’m thinking I get more creative in my beard growing adventure. Maybe there are products I can use or unique ways to cut and trim it along the way. And of course, why not document it all? I mean is there anything more interesting and edge of your seat interesting than a man growing a beard? And if I am able to finally f’n pull it off, won’t I gain more credibility in your eyes as a gardener? I know I trust male gardener’s with beards more than those without.  

Visit one local garden a week
This is self explanatory but I don’t necessarily mean community or “professional” gardens. There is a garden I pass each day when I go running and I would love to get the cojones to just ring the doorbell and ask if they wouldn’t mind me photographing their garden. There isn’t anything creepy about a sweating, out of breath middle aged man knocking on someones door early in the morning, right?  

Impact of music on gardening
My musical interests run from Metallica to Radiohead to Barry Manilow to The Wiggles. What if I measured my gardening task times based on the type of music being pumped into my ears? Does the “heavier” music aid in getting things done sooner and aid in getting through the tougher tasks?

Does the more mellow stuff allow me to stay calm when suffering through the more menial tasks? I’ll have to think through how it will all be measured, but I think I am on to something here.      

I’m sure I’ll come up with more over the next few weeks but for now, these are the ideas I will be fine tuning so I can present them to you in an organized and meaningful way.

Wish me luck.

John